Eric Blair

It’s not enough that every Republican in America debases themself in fealty to the pussygrabbing pedophile pig Donald Trump: the entire world must as well.

This is great: “Trump especially deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for going above and beyond in not bringing about peace in my war on Ukraine.” If Putin demanded that Trump hold another summit tomorrow, he’d get it posthaste.

Anyone who says they’re giving America away is wrong: Trump’s selling it as if it his own personal property.

Love it.

Can you incite a civil war in your own country & still get a Nobel Peace Prize? Asking for an asshole President of a country I may or may not live in.

Breaking: The outrage at Dear Leader Don’s lack of Nobel Prizes continues.

Not to get all college-educated, but that UN speech WAS a tale told by an idiot, full of sound & fury and signifying nothing.

Any man who gets on TV and debases himself like this just has no balls or self-respect. This man would enthusiastically lick Trump’s asshole.

Scalise is an apostate for not demanding that Trump be awarded the prizes in each category. He revealed “aceta, assetah, minophen. They call it TYLENOL” for Christ’s sake—if this isn’t biology & chemistry, I don’t fucking know what is. The UN speech was literature in its Faulkner-esque coherence!

Breaking: Trump to ban “non-hot” wives.

I don’t fault Trump for criminally pursuing Democrats for clerical errors on mortgage forms; this is the biggest petty crimewave of all time. Trump will put an end to all likely inadvertent misdemeanors because this petty man is TOUGH ON PETTY CRIME!!!

The libtards are reading far too much into the fact that half of the enemies list has been indicted.

He’s more intent on bringing Tylenol down than the Chicago poisoner. Just where was Bobby Kennedy in the fall of 1982?

Wow: Trump Admin to ban aspects of Judaism.

Republicans won’t show up to vote on paying our troops during the shutdown because avoiding a vote on the Epstein files to protect Trump and his friends is more important.

Can we just give Trump his Nobel Participation Trophy and call it a Presidency already? Well done, sir, now off to the sunset.

Whenever I find myself in despair, I cheer up by thinking, “If Stephen Miller has a wife, then anything is possible.”

Breaking: RFK turns attention to FAA; “For too long the ethos of ‘trust the pilots’ has governed American aviation. I want to replace every pilot in America with discredited kite flyers of my choosing.”

Whenever I have a bad day, I put things in perspective by considering that it could be much worse: there is a person who lives each day as creepy Stephen Miller’s wife.

When the history of the end of America is written, I think Mitch McConnell will be singled out for particular blame.

The alleged “far-left” judges, AGs & prosecutors are all duly elected or appointed officials. What Miller is saying is that they are planning a North Korea-style purge.

I was ejected from nephew’s soccer game for screaming “More WARRIOR ETHOS, Timmy! Show no mercy.” The Melrose, MA youth soccer establishment is 100% WOKE LIBS.

When HR wrote me up, I asked if I was being singled-out for my WARRIOR ETHOS. They said no & that it was because everyone at work thinks I’m a huge asshole. I said, “Aha, so it is because of my WARRIOR ETHOS!”

I attacked a box of donuts with WARRIOR ETHOS this Sunday AM. The laws of combat were especially not followed! I was merciless with the chocolate frosted & I killed three bear claws with belligerent glee!!!

I must war now! My huge balls demand it! Muscles penis biceps tattoos!!!!

Turns out the Warrior Ethos was just indigestion: I thought the oysters would be fine because we’re in an “r” month.

Today I feel especially filled with Warrior Ethos—because that is not a term just begging to be mocked.

Breaking: The entire Trump cabinet fell off the wagon this weekend; RFK & Noem went out to shoot some house pets after mainlining H, while Hegseth stayed in the cabin and raped something.

You don’t just act like RFK Jr. or Hegseth. Only a penis of less than five inches result in behavior like that.

I think Trumpism could be completely eliminated if we only adopted a minimum dick size for men serving in government. These “men” are all so obviously so insecure about something.