Morgan Malus

Grandma as a service, GaaS. 19/mo, or save more with yearly pricing.

Noping the fuck out of an interview with an engineering hiring manager who graduated from southern baptist and then went on to fuller seminary.

I don't know, but I'm imagining the assassin & hostel desk girl rom com.... the funny hijinks, the misunderstanding fall out, the arrest, and magical realist escape fantasy reunion ending

I love the direction you're taking here! It often seems like the Internet is overrun with bots, and this is a fun way to drive engagement. Let me know if you need help refining your ideas.

If you *don't* think of a giant malevolent marshmallow, would the inevitably manifested giant malevolent marshmallow torture you for eternity for purposely avoiding thinking of his handsome countenance?

I require US govt financing to build proton rifle backpacks and a nuclear powered ecto containment unit otherwise an inter dimensional omnipotent giant marshmallow will destroy us all

who is chopping onions plz stop

ok, the retro 90's software install box sold me

i have laid off wordpress, I'm now using static website hosted for free at cloudflare. woo, join my webrings

Sure twitter is bad but have you ever doomscrolled LinkedIn?

"Introduce the American to the men"
"Very well. Over there: Escargot, Chocolate Mousse, Deja Vu, and Soufflé"

once again on the "yes i survived a 10 year stint at megacorp hellscape and have 15+ years of experience, but sure let's test if i can code up some tricky algorithm that i haven't dealt with since college in your shitty web-based coder tool in under 30 minutes" train

For one day my sinuses were in heaven thanks to a simple, singular spray of Afrin. In minutes I could breathe; I slept like a baby. A miracle relief from weeks of suffering. Deep down, I knew I had cheated God. Now 24 hours later, the monkey paw curls; the rebound rhinitis is absolute hell.

wired: introspecting on genetic polymorphisms, shbg, lh/fsh to optimize methylation and HRT regimen
tired: grand unified theory of tran

Ladies is it non-binary if I get psyched by listening to Anvil of Crom from Conan while lifting heavy weights?

what is this paintball mini dirt bike gang captain fantastic shit i'm sold

this is fucking epic, and i do not use that word lightly. holy shit. @sadqueer4life.bsky.social

We're building a SaaS platform to eliminate carbon. For $19/month ($192/year discount), we use advanced AI, geospatial data, visual dashboards, and advanced climate credit accounting systems to tell you to buy less shit.

"we're in shock. grief." *michael bay explosion*
"we're in mourning" *pyrotechnics, guitar riffs*

Everyone is sleeping on making a batch of piperade and putting it on everything from your steak to your sandwich to your morning toast with a fried egg.

Today:
Hip thrust, 300lb, 3 sets of 10
Barbell squat, 165lb, 3 sets of 10
then
Every 2 minutes for 12 minutes:
Power clean, 125lb, 2 reps
high box jump, 2 reps

"He speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom. He'll blend in, disappear. You'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the Grail already."

I lost all my guns in a boating accident

Alien: Earth, people. This show is fire

ohhh is that the niedzwetzkyana we gave you?

is that still the pink pearl?? that's the darkest one i've ever seeeeeen

what the fuck

Adding hidden Unicode characters to my LLM prompts to have it subtlety insult me with every answer

Actual facts

I’m guessing the roll bars were added later?