a dong of ice and fire

Book title: The Shots You Take

Beautifully written middle-aged retired hockey player romance. This sounds like a much more niche genre than it has proven to be. Grief, forgiveness, love, second chances, all that goodness. I may have shed a tear or ten. 📚 🌶️ #RachelReid #lgbtq

Book title: The Soldier's Scoundrel

Book title: The Lawrence Browne Affair

Book title: The Ruin of a Rake

Just finished these books which were a balm for my soul in a hard week. I didn't know how much I needed class-conscious m/m Victorian romance. Top tier writing as well. 📚 🌶️ #CatSebastian #lgbtq

girls love it when meat is back on the menu

SAME. Without Twitteros in 2020 I don't know what would have become of me. I made wonderful friends who have supported me beyond my wildest dreams.

Y'all need to keep my king's name out your putrid mouths

But... but... there's only one 'o'...

Look, you see someone come back from the bathroom at work with bloodshot eyes they did not have before, they were either crying or getting stoned, neither of which is your business. What you don't do is loudly ask in the middle of the office, "what's wrong with your eyes?" Utterly tactless.

I’m definitely not listening to a Puerto Rican Christmas song with pumpkins in my ears. No ma’am. You have me confused with a different dork.

Hello Halloween season

Oh dear, I don't think mine is even fit for public consumption of the description.

I’m astonished at the number of people irl who believed I meant she showed up brandishing two pistols like some old timey bank robber because they’ve never encountered a fucking Colt 45 anywhere somehow.

Oh I most certainly am.

I like working at a community college because I bet no one shows up to Pitt or Carnegie Mellon clutching two 40's of Colt 45 and drunkenly attempting to fight Student Accounts employees and passersby on the sidewalk.

I think this broke my brain. I’m just staring at it.

Well... that was the bad part. We actually had an awesome day, drank a nice bottle of wine, smoked some dank weed, talked ASOIAF(!), and had what was actually pretty good sex. The thing was... it had been 3 months since Thanksgiving and uh... "several" faces later... 😅

Today I introduced myself to someone who I had apparently already met and who knew my name. It was awkward.

But then I remembered I once asked someone on tinder if we’d matched before and he reminded me that we’d matched on thanksgiving, spent the day together, and had sex.

…

😂 thank you, that's all I wanted

'Tis the season

I couldn't sneak to my computer after I was supposed to be in bed, so I would print out fanfiction and pretend it was my homework I was taking to my room to study

May they be struck down by those bolts.

I mean, Pat... one of them calls me DELANEY...

tfw you've worked with people for years and they still don't pronounce your name correctly despite the fact that they listen to other less shitty people say it right all day every day

And yet you have to be basically destitute to keep any meager disability benefits the person might have wrested from the government.

😂 that's GREAT. thank you for another big smile.

What I've collected from free sticker days at my local smoke shop. Not a bad haul, esp. for free.

My podcast pitches are the worst. "You should listen to this, you'll be so unspeakably angry your blood will boil and leave you staring into the middle distance in a state of horror. Total banger."

They really are. And these are all newborns. Everyone has to have some kind of pumpkin getup their first year.

Oh boy. I'm showing off the pumpkin hat at work, because of course I am, and now I'm getting people offering to pay me for one for some baby they know 😅

And that division was TOUGH

Hell yeah! The way he hopped on that bike and gtfo of there! Best to you, King.