David Dunwoody

People who begin everything they say with "No," for no reason--stop

Just found out spiders have hydraulic legs. And some can produce 7 different types of silk. That's just the beginning, they're little X-Men. I guess spiders are pretty cool. But I will never respect the hornet, not after what they've done

I feel like if I don't get out of UT before November, the borders are going to be closed. It's the cheery stillness of this fanfic Stepford that's eating away at me. Remember in BLUE VELVET when you go under the lawn and that ant is all "AAARRGGGHHH," it's that basically

I love that giddy feeling when I'm researching for a story, and I find some weird coincidence or bit of info that makes it feel like the story was there waiting to be found. Closest thing I've had to a spiritual experience

Vanilla is a flavor. It is good. It is not the water of sweets.

Hope you're debating something equally meaningless, and apolitical, on this #Christmas Day

If your head is devoid of ideas, for God's sake don't expect your mouth to come up with something

It's always irked me how the sun's role in lycanthropy is played down. It's the sun's unobstructed light that activates that crazy moon mojo. I'll bet Mars' two moons meant two warring were-species, obviously leading to their total extinction

44 is no joke. Noticeable changes come in quick succession. Even though I hover around the same weight, my body fat has redistributed itself to turn me into sort of a spinning top shape? And my clothes don't conform to my anatomy anymore? Also if I don't shower three times a day I smell like pickles

If there were one host and two facehuggers, do you think they'd have a slapstick fight all over the face

We've got everything but the turkey. Another fugitive fowl is in the wind, but I believe we can subsist on sides alone. I believe in stuffing and its singular purpose

It'll be out of the news cycle in a week, two tops

My cynical prediction, re the tragic Nat'l Guard shooting in D.C., is that the conditioned apathy toward mass violence and the presence of force is going to undercut media & public outrage, not that the administration won't try to capitalize on it anyway.

Maybe next year they can give the suite to a starving family, or two, and HUD can place the turkeys on a three-year waiting list

Thanksgiving conspiracy theory: Trump IS the missing-in-action "Waddle" and has been pardoned

Is it tone-deaf, by the way, to put poultry up at a luxury hotel and then set it free in front of the struggling public?

Who pays for the hotel? Was Changpeng Zhao chilling there last month?

The Lute Player, Frans Hals

These traveling musicians were often used as spies. Now I’m rethinking the smirk in this, Frans Hals' The Lute Player.

“The Lute Player” is also a Russian fairy tale according to the web, in which a queen disguises herself as a male musician in a plot to free her captured king.

I might take on a QR code as my pen name

Actually a great idea

I love that there are now musical artists who just use their email as their stage name

How much, exactly, did David Icke lift from the Bob Hoskins Mario movie

(Former) TrumpU prerequisites for a Master's in polisci

Creative Bookkeeping
My Smoking Hot Daughter
Sleeping & Farting in Class Undetected
How to Buy TrumpU Merch
Are You My Son
The Cultural Impact of "Home Alone 2" and the Trumpgeist

The next season of Real Housewives of the Supreme Court is rumored to revolve around a property line dispute

If wishes and dreams were candy and creme, I'd still be eating ramen

Wind, sun, magnetic fields, toilets & pet hair--the existential threats of our time. How to triage these mortal crises? Well, since water > magnet, if we flush all the magos, the toilets will absorb their power. Paint the pet gold, obviously, and windmills relocated to the Sun will cool the globe.