Tom Slatter

The stupidest decade *yet*

To my shame I did not realise this. I will say 10 Cross-eyed Maries in penance.

As good as it is, I always felt this one didn't have enough songs about sword fighting.

My favourite way of saying “we’re on it” or “we’ll take care of that for you” is the Dutch we zullen dat varkentje wel even wassen. It means “we will certainly get that piglet washed.”

You have a better explanation for why my music career is going nowhere??

This is deeply insulting to my people.

That is not what that word means.

Tom yes!

Good point. Okay, gonna get some logs first, then tell them my idea. I am gonna be a rotten log landlord. A loglord. I will be rich but empty inside. Like a rotten log.

...

Loglord!

Why can't people just live in a shallow ditch near a hedge? Or under a rotting log like a woodlouse? Woodlice thrive under logs. Don't you want people to thrive?

Ever tried boiled pasta? Not as crunchy but still good

It's just like the government training we all had when the internet was rolled out. Remember that? And the smartphone apprenticeships we all did when the first iPhone came out.

Useful new tech always needs big government training programmes.

This is the music of my people

Hit me Paul Shane one more time

No no no, NHS chief exec is definitely a salt of the earth working class job.

You missed some perfectly good pop songs that happened to be released roughly at the peak of the CD market, IIRC. I don't know if that makes his achievement more or less impressive though!

Public service. They give you a medal.

Worf is more fun in DS9 when there are more light hearted Klingon centric episodes.

Dudes would rather pretend to have mass hallucinations rather than admit they saw some Borrowers.

I scream
You scream
We all scream
When coping with the unrelenting horrors of this stupid reality

A picture of a bird... Well all right, a goat. But I wanted to join in and didn't have a bird picture

Yes! My job touches on child protection, though thankfully not the most difficult stuff. The idea that a website publishing dodgy stuff isn't responsible for that publication is mystifying to me. A magazine in the shops is responsible for content on their pages. What's the difference?

scoreboard

Sometimes a user will post a joke and then that very same user will post something sincere. And I as the reader am expected to understand this, using my brain?

Reminder that Blue Monday isn't a real phenomenon, it was made up by the boyband Blue in 2002 to make me wanna call you in the middle of the night, make me wanna hold you 'til the morning light, make me wanna love, make me wanna fall, make me wanna surrender my soul

She took a pay cut?!?!?! What?!

And therefore a better film.

The Velvet Megabus?

I'm not sure about this one. Isn't the Caledonian sleeper a bit of a step up from the underground?