Jebediah

Happy Pitchers and Catchers day! For those who observe

Olympics Update: Trump Wins Gold in Downhill Presidency “Obama never won this," he boasted.

open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

Folks, it’s baseball season!!!

I genuinely feel really sad for anyone who could watch that show and not feel joy or inspiration about not only how beautiful Puerto Rican culture is (the music omg) but just the beauty of seeing people in joy together. If your response is “ew” or “no” then that really sucks for you.

It's weird to me that trump never investigated his supposed shooter

Or dragged his family

Like he is wont to do...

Or... Hear me out on this one... We stop having political dynasties.

Noooooooo!

#TrumpFumbled

1. It was not an accident.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.

Why is it people in different countries are calling out those in the Epstein Files.

The only country not, is that EXCEPTIONAL country. The good old US of A

Money can buy happiness. If Elon Musk built a rocket and shot himself into the fucking sun that would generate massive happiness.

Well thought-out summary.

😬

I want to laugh at it but sadly it’s true.

This country isn’t divided between Democrats and Republicans. It’s divided between wealthy people who think it’s fine to do whatever it takes to amass money and power—including sucking up to known pedophiles for access to the elite— and the rest of us suckers who are not amoral monsters.

The Epstein case reflects systemic issues within the American elite. Despite clear evidence, the perpetrators will probably never be charged. They engage in exploitative practices without consequence.The American oligarchy has amassed its wealth through parasitism

You notice how Trump never talks about being shot. That’s because it never happened. It was a complete farce. Like the man himself.

Shittiest president ever!

Star Trek is some people’s porn!

That’s always very cool!

The Epstein emails should really end the debate over whether society should have billionaires. "Do you want there to be a class of people so powerful they can fuck your kids and no one will even try to do anything" seems like an easy sell if everyone in politics wasn't trying to get on their payroll

How do I get on that list?

Trump and Musk stole the 2024 election to protect themselves. End. Of.Real.

Did he wear his Trump orange?

COLBERT: “.. Do not compare ICE or the border patrol to the Nazis. .. The Nazis were willing to show their faces.”

@colbertlateshow.bsky.social

Elon Musk owns a website that generates child porn and was an eager associate of Jeffrey Epstein long after it was known Epstein trafficked children for sex.

How is anyone continuing to be associated with any of his projects companies or operations

It doesn’t seem like Epstein is a hoax after all.

Donald Trump is a pedophile.

Great shots!