The Poly Advisor (Michael E. Rubin)

Dating an ex.

• Would you? Why or why not?
• Have you? Why or why not?

#polyqotd #polysky #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved

Do you fear being “replaced” in polyamory? I suggest a reframe.

“They aren't dating a new partner instead of me.

It’s a new partner IN ADDITION to me.”

#polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved

I agree with you on all of that.

I know there will be some folks who will quibble over the definitions and labels, but I’m ok with that. It will make people curious and some will ask questions to try and learn more.

Inspiring curiosity is always a win.

Virginia House Candidate Comes Out As A Swinger Ahead of November Election “This has been our way of life for several years, and so it would have come out," she said of her and her husband's ethically nonmonogamous relationship.

WHAT DO YOU THINN: how long until we’ll see a candidate for a major federal office (Rep, Senator, or President) self-identify as ethically non-monogamous?

Full story here:
www.huffpost.com/entry/virgin...

#polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved

“Polyam relationships offer more love loving others without taking away from the love already established.” - Dr. Elisabeth Sheff

Do you feel like you can love others without taking anything away from your existing relationship? Why or why not?

#polyqotd #polyamory #poly #ENM #polysky

Right there with you, amigo.

THURSDAY IS TRASH DAY!
What is something or someone you’d like to take out and leave to be picked up with the trash?

Some examples could be:
• “This cold that just won’t go away!”
• “My aunt’s opinions about polyamory and my relationships.”
• “My family's ridiculous judgment."

#trashday

Did you open your relationship to make someone else happy?

#polysky #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved

My biggest polyamory green flag is __________.

#polysky #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved

My pleasure. 🥰

YouTube video by Graham Central Station - Topic I Can't Stand the Rain

That sounds heavenly. I love going to sleep with the window for open during a rainstorm.

Might I make a song recommendation? “I Can’t Stand the Rain.” Either the original by Ann Peebles or this amazing 1975 slow jam by Graham Central Station. #OldSchoolRnB

youtu.be/3ZCGDZzytBg?...

Because Science! #monochromemonday

That’s good advice. Do you have a boundary that you’d recommend in particular?

IMAGINE THIS: Your best friend calls and says, “My partner wants to open our relationship.”

You want to be helpful.
What’s the first bit of advice you share?

#polysky #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved

HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT
Your partner posts couple-y photos with someone new. What do you do?

#polyqotd #polysky #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved

It’s all part of the new normal.

You’re not wrong. Drama keeps the cortisol — and the dollars and clicks — flowing.

“Captain. What is this word you keep using: ‘love’?”

That “holy crap!” moment when you realize monogamy was never a choice but actually an enforced cultural narrative that is programmed into us by conservatism and fear from the time we are toddlers.

(Turn the volume on.)

#polyamory #polysky #monogamy

I’m quite envious of how your blanket gets to be on top of you and I don’t. #feralfriday

Or this from Star Trek V? “Please, Captain. Not in front of the Klingons.”

It reminds me of Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home when the alien probe tries to commubicate with whales, but they’ve gone extinct. “Only human arrogance would insist that the message must be meant for Man.”

And yes, I agree. I dig yours as well. :)

Just this morning, I was wondering what would happen if aliens arrivged to Earth and tried to communicate with ants instead of humans.

This is actually how I meditate. Although I don’;t scream it aloud, I alternate between mindful breathing and mindful exorcising. :)

Do you let your existing partner know you've connected with someone new? If yes, when?

#polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved

a little girl is laughing in a black and white photo with the word lol on her face . ALT: a little girl is laughing in a black and white photo with the word lol on her face .

lol 😂

What drains your energy faster?

• Processing jealousy or envy in healthy ways
or
• Explaining to monogamous friends why you're “still polyamorous”

#polysky #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved

• Refuse to consider contacting me at thepolyadvisor.com to help.

• Expect your partners to meet all your needs.
• Refuse to learn about attachment styles.
• Have no structure, agreements, or check-ins.
• Treat new partners like shiny toys.
• Trashtalk your partners behind their backs.
• Assume everyone’s on the same page without asking.

3/4

• Keep secrets “to avoid drama.”
• Avoid jealousy talks like the plague.
• Weaponize your insecurities.
• Cancel plans with one partner for another ... often.
• Ignore your metas’ comfort levels.

2/4