@octopuscaveman.bsky.social
Painter
The perfect crime
19.11.2025 06:31 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I’m staying in a pet friendly hotel even though I don’t have a dog which is cool because I can just go to the bathroom on the floor and nobody suspects it’s me
19.11.2025 03:49 — 👍 42 🔁 3 💬 2 📌 0About to get on my 40th flight of the year and let me tell you I have developed the weirdest superpower. Sometimes I’ll just see a guy and go “that guy is for sure going to Phoenix and I’m usually right.”
03.11.2025 22:37 — 👍 36 🔁 4 💬 1 📌 0
These things will completely spoil the movie Stepbrothers if you haven’t seen it according to the IMDB parents guide
02.11.2025 19:42 — 👍 29 🔁 2 💬 3 📌 0these are great! they remind me of an @octopuscaveman.bsky.social painting
30.10.2025 12:41 — 👍 9 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Jesus
19.10.2025 23:43 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I have no idea who he is
19.10.2025 20:49 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0A commercial for a used car lot but the guy in the commercial can’t stop crying
19.10.2025 20:09 — 👍 48 🔁 7 💬 0 📌 0New Hampshire is the Live Free or Die state but you still have to pay taxes if you live there so why do people move there?
18.10.2025 21:12 — 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0I don’t get diarrhea, I get even
18.10.2025 14:56 — 👍 32 🔁 7 💬 1 📌 0Me: Every sandwich is an open-face sandwich unless you consume it rectally
Date: Welp, I gotta work in the morning
I don’t understand stepmom porn. I don’t even like going to the bathroom after my dad has been in there
18.10.2025 14:16 — 👍 71 🔁 13 💬 3 📌 0If I was Captain Picard I would’ve called Riker number 2 because he’s the shit.
18.10.2025 12:41 — 👍 32 🔁 6 💬 7 📌 0😂
14.10.2025 22:30 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Such a great Doc
14.10.2025 22:29 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0“Well known racist dickhead Eric Clapton”
14.10.2025 20:41 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0That’s a much more fitting title. He hasn’t been in Cream for 60 years and he’s been a racist dick the whole time
14.10.2025 20:33 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0lol
14.10.2025 20:30 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0It’s so bizarre to me. He’s a big enough name on his own
14.10.2025 20:30 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0This is why I want to start a band called The World’s Greatest
14.10.2025 20:22 — 👍 13 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Cream Guitarist
14.10.2025 20:17 — 👍 41 🔁 2 💬 11 📌 1I don’t want to be funny. I want to be happy.
14.10.2025 20:14 — 👍 35 🔁 4 💬 7 📌 0That’s a solid #2
14.10.2025 20:13 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The chainsaw solo in Speedway by Morrissey is easily the best chainsaw solo in music history
14.10.2025 20:07 — 👍 13 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
A package of crackers that says LANCE TOASTY
If you’re a politician who needs an alias for checking into hotels with your mistress, you could do a lot worse than
14.10.2025 02:19 — 👍 394 🔁 25 💬 7 📌 0Damn girl are you Mr. Bucket? Because I wanna put my balls in you
13.10.2025 17:25 — 👍 7 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0If you shit your pants during a pat down right as the officer has their hands around your ass/inner thigh, would it be considered assault?
I need the legal side of bluesky to chime in on this.
The funniest part about the 90’s was the scariest most gangster dudes would walk around wearing a Tweety bird shirt
12.10.2025 00:02 — 👍 75 🔁 7 💬 5 📌 2
11.10.2025 20:46 — 👍 62 🔁 6 💬 4 📌 0
When a cop pats you down, they aren’t necessarily looking for diarrhea, but if you have any on you, they’re gonna find it, and they’ll never believe you were holding it for a friend.
11.10.2025 19:11 — 👍 45 🔁 4 💬 3 📌 2
