Pandy Fackler 🎃

When your cat walks around seemingly meowing at nothing, she's actually on ghost patrol

More like sees the day and goes back to bed amiright

i hate when I can feel my eyes move

You know that feeling when your alarm goes off, and all you want to do is pull the door back over your tomb and sleep for a couple hundred years?

I wish I could haunt people

Hey movies and tv shows, STOP PUTTING CELL PHONE TEXT CONVERSATIONS ONSCREEN WITH IMPORTANT PLOT INFORMATION WE CAN'T SEE THAT SHIT!

[giving treats to dog]
thank you for not being people

A black background, and a black plastic tray on which rests a sandwich with fried chicken, a beef patty, bacon, onions, and cheese, on a dark green sesame bun. A creepy, bony, black-grey hand with long nails reaches into frame to grab it. The copy read "Nightmare King--Feed Your nightmares"

Burger King Nightmare King (2018-2018): A 1/4 pound beef patty, crispy chicken fillet, American cheese, bacon, onions and mayo, served on a dyed-green bun. Released special for Halloween, BK claimed that it was developed with a sleep institute, designed to induce nightmares if eaten before bed

Asking the date if she wants to go outside and play in the forest with me

excuse me but there was nothing in the wedding invitation about “no capes”

A group of hammerhead sharks is called a school of hard knocks.

A screenshot from Doug’s Big Game showing Judy Funnie in a comic shop saying ‎Trotsky said the party that leans upon the workers but serves the bourgeoisie, in the period of the greatest sharpening of the class struggle, cannot but sense the smells wafted from the waiting grave, Doug.

It’s amazing how progressive Doug was isn’t it?

Seinfeld was deep too

clothing: hand wash only

me tossing it into the washing machine: may the odds be ever in your favor

*attacks u with axe* *attacks u with axe* okay your turn now

everyone has this one guy in their replies

"Dress for the job you want" they said

Find a penny, pick it up, and then when someone honks their horn and startles you, drop it again, and all the day you'll be extra jumpy.

YouTube video by Raz Do Dah Doo Doo

Happy Monday ilu ❤️
I wanna meet that dad!

Cc: @kujoe.net
@fulkery.bsky.social

youtu.be/1g_UHV42jOA?...

Good morning my lovelies 🌞

at the end of the day, it’s just me and my big bag of weed against the world

Just put perfume on and didn't realize the spray nozzle was pointed at my face. How's your morning going?

I would tell you to start with Trails From Zero if you don't want to start with the first one.

Oh yeah it's a HUGE series and it's so fucking good! Im working my way through the series and loving it!!!! 🎮😍😍😍😍😍

Walking on sunshine will melt your crocs.

17 hours into Trails of Cold Steel 4 and I'm loving it. The Trails series is just so...so...omg awesome 🎮😍😍😍😍😍

That joke went over like a cow on a slow weekend night in a small town. This joke went over like a sailboat in a hurricane.

My first point is what, followed by the, and in conclusion, fuck

a magic 8-ball but every side just says "i don't fucking know"

Dear reader, dear passerby, dear glancer, dear scroll-on-byer...what I thought to write, I have forgotten.