What Trump Did Today

What Trump Did Today On November 17, 2025, Donald Trump forgot he was president in 2020.

He's taken the Montreal Cognitive Assessment so many times now that they made a version just for him.

What Trump Did Today On November 16, 2025, Donald Trump got a Republican state legislator in Indiana swatted for not doing as he was told.

Trump's always bragging about how he can remember words long enough to pass dementia screening tests. Last week, Indiana Republicans tried to teach him a new word, and let's just say he didn't take it well.

What Trump Did Today On November 15, 2025, Donald Trump double-pardoned at January 6th attacker for crimes unrelated to January 6th—or at least someone did.

He unveiled a bold new theory of criminal jurisprudence, which for complex legal reasons applies only to the thugs who swung baseball bats at cops and shit on the floor of the Capitol to try to overturn the 2020 election.

What Trump Did Today On November 14, 2025, Donald Trump continued his meltdown over the latest Epstein revelations.

It's gotten so bad that Marjorie Taylor Greene is the voice of reason.

What Trump Did Today On November 13, 2025, Donald Trump promoted a self-described "Nazi" and sexual harasser.

Hey, remember the creepy incel who canceled a female DHS staffer's hotel room to try to force her to spend the night with him? He got promoted, which is the 20,001st most fucked-up bit of information about sexual behavior we've learned Trump condones in the last day or two.

He made himself look guiltier of association with a massive criminal conspiracy to traffic and rape children than should be possible.

There's not really a joke here. A year ago it was possible to believe he had a scummy friend but wasn't really involved. Today… holy fuck. This man is the President.

What Trump Did Today On November 11, 2025, Donald Trump celebrated Veterans Day by threatening to send US troops into Chicago to fight a real estate bubble.

He was up way past his bedtime last night, trying to decide where to send the "suckers" and "losers"—pardon, he meant to say the American military servicemembers he has such enormous respect for—next.

It'll probably be one of these four places he thinks is Chicago.

Today, Donald Trump, who has never had a job he didn't get from Daddy Fred or Daddy Vlad, let all you lazy workaday bums know what he thinks of you. You're all on notice! He's taking names!

Pretty bold for a guy whose hands are so soft they supposedly bruise from handshakes.

What Trump Did Today On November 9, 2025, Donald Trump tried to salvage his approval ratings and his tariffs with a bribe.

Today's post is unrelated to the photo below of him taken twenty seconds after 60,000 football fans booed him all the way through a military ceremony. We just thought you'd enjoy seeing it.

What Trump Did Today On November 8, 2025, Donald Trump revealed his new healthcare plan: pay for every medical expense out of pocket, like a billionaire.

He said we should get rid of the concept of health insurance and just go back to paying doctors whatever the market will bear. Hey, he's done it his whole life (except for the infinite free government healthcare he gets now) and look at him, the very picture of health.

What Trump Did Today On November 7, 2025, Donald Trump pondered the mystery of why beef is suddenly so expensive after he imposed massive import taxes on it.

You know, if you assume that's an all-beef hotdog, this is pretty close to exactly what happened today.

The price of a Thanksgiving dinner is way down at the grocery store that exists only in Donald Trump's head. (Don't forget your photo ID!)

Good news! The man who just threw a Great Gatsby-themed party is here to explain grocery shopping to you.

First, have your manservant fetch your passport from the safe. You'll need it to prove to the shopkeep that you're entitled to grocery privileges!

What Trump Did Today On November 5, 2025, Donald Trump decided to use Americans going without food as a political bargaining chip.

Remember how Trump was kinda sorta going to half-fund food assistance? Well now he's decided poor Americans can go fuck themselves unless they're willing to give up health insurance instead.

Now to check the election results, which are surely a Republican rout on account of his great leadership…

What Trump Did Today On November 3, 2025, Donald Trump threatened New York City voters.

He said he'd punish New Yorkers if he didn't like who they voted for in tomorrow's mayoral election.

Among the potentially devastating punishments he could inflict on New York City: he could move back there from Florida at any moment.

What Trump Did Today On November 2, 2025, Donald Trump rushed to help exactly one American, a wealthy political supporter, get the health care they needed.

Great news if you're an American who needs healthcare! President Trump is ready and willing to drop everything and help you*, personally, get the care you need.

*certain restrictions apply

What Trump Did Today On November 1, 2025, Donald Trump once again said it was a crime to make fun of him.

He said it was a crime to make fun of him. If you'd like to become an accessory after the fact to 1,804 counts of Felony Anti-Trumpism (and counting!), click through the link below.

What Trump Did Today On October 31, 2025, Donald Trump held a millionaire-themed party while the clock ran out on food and health care benefits for millions of Americans.

Okay, you might be mad that he held a "Great Gatsby"-themed party the night that 41 million people get kicked off food assistance and ACA premiums triple because of his shutdown.

But—BUT—just WAIT until you see his redecoration of the White House shitter! You'll forget all about how hungry you are.

Grandpa had the thing again where he thinks he the memory care unit is his own house, although that still doesn't explain why he told the orderly to lock the night nurse in the Tower of London.

What Trump Did Today On October 29, 2025, Donald Trump said South Korea could use American nuclear submarine technology after South Korea gave him a literal gold crown.

South Korea gave him a crown that "symbolizes the divine connection between the authority of the heavens and the sovereignty on Earth, as well as the strong leadership and authority of a leader" and let's just say we're lucky he didn't try to grab someone by the pussy on the spot.

He fired an advisory board so they couldn't weigh in on the gold-leaf-and-shitty-plastic-knickknack "ballroom" he's going to build with some of his corporate slush fund.

That might not sound very important, but it's easily the most important thing related to the 1% of his job he gives a shit about.

What Trump Did Today On October 27, 2025, Donald Trump accidentally revealed more about his "routine physical" than he probably meant to.

You know what the MoCA graphic means: President Cognitive Fitness Grandpa DEFINITELY earned another gold star from every American person, woman, man, camera, and TV.

Please ignore the part where he froze in confusion because he was in an unfamiliar room and had to be rescued by the Japanese PM.

"Look what happened to our Country when a Crooked Moron became our 'President!'" wrote Donald Trump in an apparent effort to drive traffic to this and 1,797 other posts available at the link below.

What Trump Did Today On October 25, 2025, Donald Trump raised the taxes Americans pay on Canadian goods because a commercial hurt his feelings.

He owned the libs as only Donald Trump can, by making them nostalgic for the clear, coherent, common-sense trade policies of late-second-term Ronald Reagan.

He doubled down on the preposterous lie that he had a "friend."

Also, he told some truly bonkers story about what that "friend" did, I guess to make it look like Trump and his "friends" are all great guys, but I mean come on, he lost any sane person at "I, Donald John Trump, have a friend—"

He made it clear: if you side with Hamas, if you seek to profit off of their victims' suffering, if you enable them to perpetrate their acts of terror, there is nowhere on earth that you can hide…

…the money you'll need to give him if you want a pardon for that. Pleasure doing business, Mr. Zhao!

Great news for American cattle ranchers who can barely keep afloat because expenses have gone through the roof due the trade war! President Trump has a solution: no they haven't, you're fine, you're not going bankrupt at all, please voluntarily sell beef at below-market prices.

Ah, the free market!

In a gesture that will no doubt lift the spirits of people working into the fourth week of the shutdown with no pay, or struggling to make ends meet with groceries and health insurance through the roof, President Trump decided you losers owe him $230M for the unforgivable act of noticing his crimes.

What Trump Did Today On October 20, 2025, Donald Trump started literally tearing down the White House, after promising he wouldn't.

Supposedly this is for his monstrosity of a "ballroom" but let's not rule out that he's just stealing the copper plumbing.

He said the French Resistance should just give up now and let the Nazis have Paris because Hitler personally told him it's hopeless to resist.

Now, that's an analogy, but given where his brain is these days, you could probably get him to tweet exactly that.