Hotwiring the Flintstones car

I usually sprint at top speed so the spirits, vengeful and otherwise, can’t waylay me and tell me about their grandkids or whatever

If you take anything away from my post, I hope it's this:

PLEASE join my earthquake-worshipping cult, Order of Magnitude. DISCLAIMER: I’m not responsible if the initiation ritual gives you Shaken Adult Syndrome!!!!!!!

Jarvis, give his truck nuts an orchiectomy

Putting all my edibles in one of those cat enrichment toys so if I'm too high I can't take any more

I'm microdosing water with the boys. They are yelling "shots shots shots." Like Sisyphus, I cannot escape middle school.

why won't my veterinarian prescribe me dog Valium

they let PEOPLE take DOG VALIUM?????