✨ nat ✨

A guy just came to our door asking if we’d be interested in side of the house cleaning or roofing & I restrained myself from saying “your company got up on our roof about 6 months ago, told us you’d come back & give us a proper quote then never did, & now we can’t afford to do it, so uhhh…no?”

I’m watching this with dinner & I keep yelling “NO!!!!” every 5-10 min, like how is this shit fucking legal (incredible video obvs, Eddy nails it as per, but my god it should not have been possible for him to do this)

(Usually I just sit outside so I don’t have to open the door 50 times & I might later, but it’s weirdly windy outside right now & my Halloween craft is a cross stitch Christmas present I don’t need blowing away, so at least until it picks up a little I’m hanging indoors)

I just had my first trick or treaters & I’ve already guessed a costume wrong, I was like “oh wow, fairies?” & one of the little girls was like “I’m NOT a fairy OBVIOUSLY I’m a PEGASUS” & I was like oh my mistake, clearly I’m not down on my “mythical creatures wearing a skirt & wings” knowledge

why did this make me wheeze out loud

Obvs yes lol

(Weirdly Harvey Norman still sells the replacement jars for $35 so I think it’ll be fine other than the fact it won’t have a metallic coating on it like my Lisa Frank one but now I need to work out if I’ve been endangering my life making smoothies & curry paste, which is mainly what I use it for)

So long story short my dad put something in the wrong place in the kitchen, it overbalanced & knocked my Blendjet off the counter, cracking the jar part, so I went to see if I could buy a replacement…apparently there was a huge recall of them & the company went out of business??? I never knew this??

Im going to start telling people that the sounds my joints make when moving is “just my skeleton settling”

My dad is like this, like can literally fall asleep standing up, & for years would tell me I just needed “empty my mind” when I lie down…turns out what I actually needed was to drug my adhd anxiety brain into submission every night so I didn’t lie there thinking about every bad thing I’ve ever done

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag?
KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag.
CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this?
KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla
CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable.
KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

I love fusion cuisine (putting ikea meatballs in my Korean rice cakes cooked in Japanese curry)

soon they will realise that if you're going to run an endless game, you play it over three days, in the middle of summer, and spend the entire time drinking

might be one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen

It was an Extremely Bad Day, like she drowned in a whitewater rafting accident so it was not at all expected & I’d already had to tap out of a quiz bc I couldn’t stop crying, & then this fucken guy comes along & decides he’s going to be misogynistic & shitty about MY computer friends? NOT TODAY SIR

I dyed my hair a sort of beetroot colour

It occurs to me I did not show you the result of hair dye roulette, I’m actually pretty happy with it tbh, it’s darker in person but the light roots to dark ends persist because my hair is growing in largely salt & pepper these days

My dad just came home & was like “oh! You got your hair done!” & I was like sir…this is entirely me in the bathroom with a tint brush & several expired bottles of dye, do not disrespect my shitty work like that, no professional could have achieved this colour

Ooooomg the day I had a lecture in my digital art theory class about blogging where the speaker basically dismissed anything that wasn’t a political blog as pointless when I’d found out that morning one of my long time LJ friends had died…that man certainly regretted his choices

It always feels particularly egregious that I, the guy who has texture issues regarding most cooked vegetables & loves to cronch, got inflicted by “can’t eat large amounts of any veg that isn’t peeled & cooked to mush” disease, like can’t you give it to one of those fucking carnivore dudes instead

Ughhh this month Gourmet Traveller is full of the sort of light, raw vegetable forward recipes I love eating when it gets warmer, but that I KNOW have at least a 70% chance of fucking me up as bad if not worse than eating the same amount of heavy dairy forward food, why has Crohn’s done this to me

(I’m not much of a Trek guy; I was in the fandom around the first reboot movie for a while but haven’t really watched much else, HOWEVER I did write my honours thesis on zine culture so I can promise you I definitely know more about the history of the fandom than this chucklefuck does)

Oh that’s so cute, I don’t actually have time to go into the history of fandom & how a huge hunk of the people who kept ST on the air were Kirk/Spock shippers mailing zines to each other but trust me this take is Bad & Wrong

He’s designing the ballroom with AI isn’t he www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

lol this cop pissed himself

I have eaten a legume twice this week, & the first time I thought I was in the clear, but tonight…oof, my guts HATE it, they’re doing the thing where I can FEEL them trying desperately to get the insoluble fibre through my squooshed intestines which is not pleasant, so I guess beans are still out

When I was waiting at the car place the other day a lady was on hold to someone on speaker & I genuinely thought she was watching the same video with ~calming music over & over, but then someone answered the phone & she then WENT OUTSIDE TO TAKE IT…ma’am please this is sociopath behaviour

Ah…good to hear…love that opinion as someone with both who hasn’t been able to get a job for 2 years, I’m sure nothing bad will come from that I won’t eventually be told I should just fucking die even more than I already am being told that indirectly

(Why can they not process my report of “no job, no income” today & have it go in tomorrow? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ too busy absolutely breaking the shit out of the disability employment system I guess, good thing my dad won’t care if my rent’s a few days late)

(This brought to you by me missing the one reminder they send you the day your report’s due, which is the only day you can do it, remembering at 2 past midnight last night & that meaning I don’t get paid til Monday, which means I have $29 til then & $27 of it has to go on pain killers)

I’m so glad Centrelink is aware I have the “forgetting things all the time” disorder & still makes me getting paid in a timely manner contingent on me remembering to tell them I don’t have a job & didn’t earn any money every 2 weeks, thanks lads