kyle🍉

I wish I used this app for anything other than keeping up with smut artists.

I've been asked to be in an erotic film? And I actually want to do it? What? Huh?

Wife made me literally grovel for forgiveness after a fight this morning and I got a boner.

I am a vessel for Busch Light and Buldak. Nothing more.

In the gooner discord asking if the videos pass the Bechdel Test.

Out there somewhere is a sinister woman that will make you kiss men for her entertainment, and you have to wife her. Failure is not an option.

I have human problems and an ape brain. I am not biologically equipped to deal with any of this bullshit.

You can judge the weight of a soul by how much garlic they cook with. You are not escaping samsara on two cloves, my friend.

Pride is approaching. I wanted to get real slutty with it this June, but I think the move is going to have to be militant resistance instead. I don't think I have the capacity to do both.

How can a white boy get hip to Daoism? I need some wu wei in my life.

A brief but intense moment of sonder while high in a Walmart.

Someone knows who this man is and where he spends his time. He should be identified. And he should not feel comfortable showing his face in public after this.

surround yourself with lesbian perverts

The key to a successful, long-term sexual relationship is to get very competitive over mobile word games.

I don't want to be the cynical leftist killjoy, but I don't think Hand's Off actually accomplished anything. Nancy Pelosi was there. She only leaves her office to do insider trading.

Happy Day of Transgender Visibility to my trans, nonbinary, and third gender friends. I see you, bitch. As long as I draw breath, you got shooters in these streets.

Shmokin' a jay on my freshly cleaned patio. The dad in me yearns for the grill. For the hiss of a beer can. For the acrid stink of a poorly vented fire pit.

Oh, I got it alright.

It's so sunny. Getting that vitamin D. Getting that D all over my face. Just gobbling up the D. Bottomless pit for D.

My conservative father is in famously socialist Vietnam. He knows I'm a commie sympathizer, so he bought me one of those red star caps as a gift. He said he knew I'd appreciate it because I'm one of the few people in the States that'd know what it means. I'm actually very touched by this gesture.

Doing a racy photoshoot in a couple of weeks. One of my models is in a sling and recovering from surgery, though. We need to make slings sexy somehow. Like, can you replace the medical sling with a functional shibari tie? Does that work? I don't want to injure him either. 😅

A trans woman cozies up to her trans girlfriend with a worried expression. She asks "babe, what's the matter? Why can't you get off?" The girlfriend, forlorn, sighs. She clenches her fist emphatically and looks upward toward an imagined, uncaring God. She says "it's just..." She opens her hand and stares in front of her with a 1000 yard stare and finishes "Neoliberalism." The first woman looks annoyed, pissed off.

The trick is staying broke enough that you never have any assets to lose from poor financial decisions. You need to achieve zen broke. Homeostatic brokeness.

Being the dungeon master is so sub coded. "Time for my weekly beating from 3-5 of my friends." Fucking embarrassing. I need to kill somebody tonight to maintain my switch cred.

I was recording the moon (worshipping her), and a bat decided to make a cameo.

Doechii is teaching the girls about bi men, and the discourse is spreading like wildfire on multiple social platforms. Cishet guys, it does not look good for you. You're gonna have to start kissing the homies if you want to stay relevant.

Kill god and fuck forever.

My main malfunction is that I was meant to do the bidding of an evil, unhinged woman, but my spouse is an extremely normal sweetheart.

The ordeal of being known might be mortifying to you, but it's erotic to me. Skill issue.

Wife has started therapy after I've been twisting her arm over it for six years. I'm so proud of her and happy for her. She seems optimistic!