Cat Franz

"Years and years ago, there was a production of The Tempest, out of doors, at an Oxford college on a lawn, which was the stage, and the lawn went back towards the lake in the grounds of the college, and the play began in natural light. But as it developed, and as it became time for Ariel to say his farewell to the world of The Tempest, the evening had started to close in and there was some artificial lighting coming on. And as Ariel uttered his last speech, he turned and he ran across the grass, and he got to the edge of the lake and he just kept running across the top of the water — the producer having thoughtfully provided a kind of walkway an inch beneath the water. And you could see and you could hear the plish, plash as he ran away from you across the top of the lake, until the gloom enveloped him and he disappeared from your view. And as he did so, from the further shore, a firework rocket was ignited, and it went whoosh into the air, and high up there it burst into lots of sparks, and all the sparks went out, and he had gone. "When you look up the stage directions, it says, 'Exit Ariel.”

Eleven years ago, I wrote to Tom Stoppard to ask about this coup de théâtre from 1949. It took me down an unexpected rabbit hole - in memory of Stoppard, here's what I found.

Looooooots of sad men. Liam is in peak form.

I had some trepidation but it’s going great!

@tobyjay.bsky.social it’s been so long, I’m never on Bluesky, and I’m not giving them my ID to verify that I’m an adult BUT I NEED TO KNOW your fave c4 baddies and I also need an Occtis keychain like a need air.

“How did Millenials become uncool?”

The passage of time, which shapes all things. You will grow old. You have grown old. The oranges will bloom and ripen and rot.

The truly uncool thing is to suggest that you are forever. You are not even now.

A 15 y.o. said she liked my tattoos so I’m gonna be riding that high for the rest of the week.

Women, am I right? Book recs. She Was Monstress edited by Robin Jo Margaret. To A Darker Shore by Leanne Schwartz. The Haunting of Heatherhurst Hall by Sebastian Nothwell. A Crimson Covenant by Aimee Donnellan. Honeybloods by I.S. Belle. The Companion by EE Ottoman.

Women, am I right? Book recs. She Who Earned Her Wings by Vaela Dennar. Gay the Pray Away by Natlie Naudus. Adrift in Starlight by Mindi Briar. Into the Gray by Margaret Killjoy. Late Bloomer by Mazey Eddings. Sink Into Her by Elaine J. Daniels.

Women, am I right? Book recs. The Fall That Saved Us by Tamara Jeree. Blessed by the Cupid Distribution System by Robin Jo. Margaret. Dead Lez Walking by G Benson. Providence Girls by Morgan Dante. Fae's Bargain by Luna Daye. Charon Docks at Daylight by Zoe Reed.

Women, am I right? Book recs. A Botanical Daughter by Noah Medlock. Witch's Brew by Sapphire Lesbos. Sofi and the Bone Song by Adrienne Tooley. Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey. The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows by Olivia Waite. Green Fuse Burning by Tiffany Morris.

Lesbian Visibility Week is here, and I have a collection of sapphic books to keep you going. There are many ways to be a lesbian and not one label fits all, so please keep that in mind. (1/2)

See this is why I never get on Bluesky, it’s all news and current events. I prefer to hear about the modern horrors like a struggling peasant; only the worst of them rise above the din of terror to finally be whispered in earshot of my tiny village.

“Hey marketing, I wrote up this product paragraph myself and then ran it through chat GPT, just wanted to make sure you didn’t have any edits before I post.”

Sorry, I don’t work in marketing anymore, they’re actually sending me to federal prison for what I’m about to do.

I cannot wait for Nolan’s Odyssey because I am Odysseus’ biggest hater. In 2,500 years no one has hated that man like I have. He’s a stupid, murderous, lecherous man like all the rest. And now that he’s rising back to the top of the cultural subconscious I can sing my song from every mountain top.

“Does your pasta sauce have meat in it?”

“It’s a meat based sauce but we have a version where we strain the chunks out.”

“…thanks, I’ll have the salad.”

I always forget how spoiled a vegetarian I am until I leave the city limits and try to eat anywhere else in Ohio.

Vera Bradley and low rise are back in? I’m about to get bullied. I can feel it.

Would love to tbh

Hey so how is everyone else dealing with the looming threat of a rise of technofudalism? I don’t wanna move to the woods and bury my head in the sand.

And

“Whereas Pro Women’s Healthcare Centers is a consortium of centers that serves as an example of the high-quality, comprehensive, life-affirming care that women deserve;”

I chuckle every time Starbucks gives me a fork with the egg bites. I take those little fuckers like jello shots come on now.

✨being a woman✨

Being a woman continues to be a series of funhouse mirrors, institutional gaslighting, and a little bit of pixie dust.

So I am not crazy, actually. And I don’t have a brain tumor, probably. What IS happening is something called the Mirena Crash which is a series of symptoms reported by women after having the Mirena IUD removed. And yes, I can join no less than a dozen class action lawsuits.

When Ellen said
“You cannot love.”

And he responded
“I cannot. And yet I will never be sated without you.”

I DID lean over to my friend and whisper “Oh my god enemies to lovers” in the theatre

Look. I know that Count Orlok is the bad guy in Nosferatu. Even if we pretend he didnt drink two toddlers like capri suns, he has never cleaned under his nails and that mustache has GOT to go.

However…

My comprehensive review of Nosferatu:
1. Could have been hornier
2. Needed more homoeroticism
3. Why in the year of our lord 2025 are we still killing every named female character including toddlers?

But the book…
It’s a metaphor for…
It’s the third time it’s been adapted you can change it up.

Surely there’s a Marvel plot for this

Word of the Day is ‘uhtcearu’ [ucht-kay-aru, with the 'ch' as in the Scottish ‘loch']:

Old English for ‘the sorrow before dawn', when you lie awake in the darkness and worries crowd your mind.

Had my own social security saga this week and my rage could power a small city

Reminder that Palestinians are real people with real hopes and dreams and struggles and that following them or learning about their lives is not consuming atrocity porn- it’s affirming your own humanity.

The nurse practitioner who prescribes my psych meds said I’m her most interest patient, so I won today. I don’t know what I won, but I’m putting a star sticker SOMEWHERE.

This is the bravest thing they’ve ever published

Come on, Joe. Forgive all student debt. Who is gonna stop you? Go mad with power.

Hiiiiii 🦋