cam godfrey

just realized the drawfee stream vod i was on has 46,000 views why did i think it would be like 1500

[three hours into the conversation] so is anything good going on

i do improv because i miss playing mermaid in the pool

Bree Van de Kamp from Desperate Housewives looking stunning in a black long sleeve shirt with her red hair perfectly cascading down her shoulders and her modelesque visage evoking a slight discontent

She got her PhD in cunt

One thing that doing creative work teaches you is that ideas are worth nothing. Anybody can have an idea. In a writers room you have to come up with a hundred ideas a day, and most of those don’t make the page. It’s the work of making something that gives it value. The patina of humanity.

Doc Lanky’s sounds like if you asked me to make up a place on Madison. like ok sure

guy watching the news on september 11th: “wow, that was NOT on my 2001 bingo card!!”

we’re so back!!!!! (to square one)

desperate housewives is a fantasy series that asks us to suspend our disbelief that americans could live in community with their neighbors

imagine hating me and meanwhile i’m just here being unlikable, cold, emotionally unavailable, reckless, and kind of mean

comics will complain that no one is sitting in the front row and then go up and do mean spirited crowd work

it’s me and the two strands i pulled out of my pigtail braids against the world

hey sorry if i seemed a little withholding at the function. it’s just that you haven’t yet earned my approval

everyone credits Melville Dewey for organizing the library books but they always neglect to acknowledge his partner, John Decimal

does girl cum glow under black light? and other poems

born to be their best friend, forced to be their high school english student 😔

which stage of grief is unimaginably horny

this interaction was so baffling that I am admitting i patronized an establishment called “gypsy bean” on the internet. even though i should know better

walked into Gypsy Bean and the barista said “welcome to Gypsy, home of the Bean!” worked there for 4 hours and she did not say that shit to one other person

they’re calling me the aphrodite of the cle- [i am punished by the gods for hubris]

they’re calling me the cleopatra of the cleveland comedy scene

reading is great because is the only form of media consumption that feels like the last bastion of hope in a futile fight against losing your brain cells to social media. and you also get to show off how smart you’re being in your instagram story

it’s such a joyful thing to learn a new word at this age. i thought i knew all of the words! there’s so much to be alive for

if somebody assigns you a piece where you're supposed to talk to the Grok love chatbot please contact me so I can pay you to not write that piece. I can't afford to be capricious like this but I will crowdfund it and get support. together we can stop you

i’m in stages of grief you haven’t even heard of

my dad died 21 years ago this summer. my grief can legally drink alcohol. and boy, does it

just flew in from the first stage of grief and boy am i angry!

felt maternal instinct for the first time in Superman (2025). i should have a weird green baby.

yeah this one is a reference to my own opener

cleveland state university: the city is your campus. and that is a threat