jessie

I think when it happens we should call it “congestive heart success”

Fondly remembering the time I went to an acquaintance's improv show (ikr) in SF and there was a bit where they pulled people from the audience for a game and this one random drunk guy was just leaps and bounds funnier than any of the improv people and they got SO HEATED about it lmfao

We only get so many quiet Wednesday evenings at home and I just wasted one of them watching Death Of A Unicorn (2025)

Two nice lesbians smiling big and dressed in colorful matching jester/clown outfits in the colors of the lesbian pride flag. One is wearing an orange wig, the other is wearing a light pink wig

lesbian clowns at pride (picture taken with permission)

Accidentally joined a meeting with my background unblurred and the two people already on the call were like "is that your actual apartment or is that a background?" And "it looks so clean!"

I will be riding this high all weekend

ngl it just gets crazier from here

I trust him unconditionally

A party that actually wanted to mobilize young and disillusioned voters would be studying Zohran Mamdani’s campaign like the Bible

Yes! Very curious what you think of that transportation experience 🎉

tale as old as time
song as old as rhyme
pickle and sharp cheese

I see His Holiness has been stewing on the White Sox losing in extra innings yesterday

normies shouldn't use computers

I just know Käärijä would treat me right

Horse_ebooks tweet: Everything happens so much

You have weird underpants feelings about Gavin Newsom DESPITE his evil aura, I have weird underpants feelings about him BECAUSE of the evil aura; we are not the same

"jesy why is he so bad"

I almost got killed twice in the same spot in front of my condo and his response was to say (in a 750 word email) that nobody has ever raised traffic safety concerns to him and he didn't think the spot was unsafe so he wouldn't be doing anything

Serendipitously encountered my nemesis (Robert Goudie) in the park today, I hope he gets a yeast infection from sweating in his stupid loser suit

Here’s my worst take on this dumb app: Tyson’s is becoming good, actually.

not the main issue here but i'd really appreciate it if democratic politicians spoke out in support of big-city life and culture with the same energy and reverence that all politicians have for small towns

los angeles is "real america" and so are all the other big cities the president hates

1 in 12 Americans live in California.

1 in 35 Americans live in LA County.

LA is America

Happy Friday, y’all. #ttrpg

(Spoilers for a movie old enough to drink)

Straight up forgot that Commodus dies at the end of Gladiator (2000) oops

look, we're all out here making ourselves stressed out and miserable with terrible news all the time

please let yourself enjoy this, for your own mental health

This is the best day ever to be in a group chat with people who aren’t online. They react to every piece of breaking news about the beef like you’re Paul Revere.

I know posting "the girls are fighting" seems funny, but it's actually insensitive and shitty.

My father died in a girl fight. He tried to break it up and the girls pulled him apart like freshly baked bread. He didn't even scream. One moment he was there, the next just a spray of dad viscera.

AOC: “The girls are fighting, aren’t they?”

But Samer one time I saw a cyclist riding without a helmet