Toby Click

Colorado is drier than a queer eye at Charlie Kirk’s funeral.

a man with gray hair and a tan jacket looks at the camera ALT: a man with gray hair and a tan jacket looks at the camera

Celebrating President’s Day with a pedophilic authoritarian moron in the White House shitting all over the Constitution feels like being asked to celebrate an evil ex’s birthday just cuz it was saved in your iCal. How ‘bout no. We can reinstate that holiday in 3 years when Von Shitzenpants is gone.

Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️🏳️‍🌈

Bad Bunny performs at the Super Bowl LX halftime show

Holy shit. This is Jesse Owens in 1936 Berlin.

FAQs for This Weekend’s Bad Bunny Concert Featuring Football What time is kickoff? The Bad Bunny concert kicks off around 8:00 or 8:30 p.m., but there will be pre-concert entertainment starting at 6:30 p.m. f...

Q: How much is the NFL paying Bad Bunny for the privilege of playing football during and after his concert?

A: In what can only be described as a display of unprecedented magnanimity, Bad Bunny has allowed the NFL to showcase their sport at his concert for free.

A Daughter Goes Through Her Dead Millennial Father’s Storage Unit Why the hell did he save so many Funko Pops? “Dr. Ian Malcolm with His Shirt Open.” “Homer Simpson in a Muumuu.” He’s got two Green Power Rangers...

"I almost tripped over this big plastic brick. It’s a TI-83 graphing calculator. Either he thought he would need it for his career, or he felt an emotional connection to it. He worked in AI Annotation his whole life. Never needed math."

As a physics major, my tendency to regard SI prefixes at face value can lead to some extreme mental images when I hear terms like megachurch, nanobrewery, micropenis, or pico de gallo.

When they come to Denver, they will find Denver ready.

There is nothing after we die. The only hell they will ever face is what WE give them.

What’d REALLY scare me is if two people saw the same figure, like, in the butter dish with a green cap and orange beard

I got yer inflection point right here

How fucked-up is everything, that we are weeks away from the first crewed lunar mission since Apollo, and even MY own reaction is “meh”

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artemis...

The most useful information I have gained from reading my own Gemini transcripts: I say “uh” more often than Jeff Goldblum.

Discarding an empty box of Grinch cereal in the recycling, at long last. I bought this HOW many months ago? The stuff lasts forever, like the Orcs’ equivalent of lembas bread. Being from Costco, it was a double-size package. Flavoring was bland and joyless, with the marshmallows few and far between. So let me officially close out this holiday season, this twelfth day of Christmas, this day of Epiphany, with my very last bowl of “The Grinch by Dr. Seuss” cereal. I had a number of Dr. Seuss books, and watched the cartoons every year. But something about the overall aesthetic creeped me out, even as I looked on.

Me: Finally finishing this box of Grinch cereal! It wasn’t very good.

Him: You could skip the “very” part.

Is Karen from WILL & GRACE the holotype?

I should take a probiotic and antibiotic and let them battle it out. 🦠

I don’t want to travel overseas now, because some rando who’ll be around me for thirty seconds and never again will look and think one thing: “That’s an Anerican.“

And nothing about that will be good.

Got an email with the subject line “Black Friday won't last forever...”

Well, akshually…

More of a folk tale than a book (there IS at least one book), but I would LOVE to see A24 or someone create a movie about the Tailypo.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tailypo

Norman Rockwell’s painting “Freedom From Want”, juxtaposed with the saying “If there's a Nazi at the table and ten other people sitting there talking to him, you got a table with eleven Nazis.”

Happy Thanksgiving! 😼🦃

Lücy, a tuxedo cat, napping in a POÄNG chair

Elvis, a ginger cat, watching intently

Hobbes, a Basenji dog, hogging the TV remote

Lücy 🐈‍⬛
Elvis 🐈
Hobbes 🐕

I can hear this picture

A bit long for a Pixar title. Something monosyllabic, like “MOONS”

I was once told that I could not believe in evolution and be a Christian. This ultimatum had somewhat the opposite of the intended effect.

I have mixed feelings about Gavin Newsom. I don’t like the idea that you can only defeat an asshole by being a bigger asshole.

Peeve: when the word “decimate” is used to describe a level of destruction greater than 10 percent

www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/d...

I have a ten-year-old+ Casio keyboard that I’ve been using as a clothesrack. Today I hooked it up to my MacBook.

Whoever said “it’s always darkest before dawn” clearly knows nothing about astronomy or existence.

From now on, if I show myself to be ignorant of some piece of critical news or pop culture or anything regarded as common knowledge, I will use the excuse that it happened while I was offworld. 🚀🪐

Good on you for being able to confront it in yourself, admit wrongness, and aim higher. Be like the Beastie Boys.