Waikiki Wanda

All we hear of Clavicular is munting and mogging; is there nothing jestergooning and joyous? Or is query naive?

“Wow that’s based,” typed 45 year old in pajama pants, expressionless

Imagine the crowd work

wife birthday love your quiet strength

i can’t believe its my very last day at the remote arctic research station and a blizzard has trapped all the scientists here and cut off communication. luckily a creature just showed up randomly and he’s actually super fucking chill

I was already like oh nooooo then he got to the sportsball punchline. A master class in bad to worse

The joke so woke it wrapped all the way back around to being right wing

I saw like two subtweets of how bad this joke is before I saw the joke and boy. If anything it deserved more

Did you see when he ripped his pants celebrating something and the camera zoomed in like from the butt side to show the rip

They should have a little icon in the corner indicating which ice dancing pairs are Actually Fucking.

I'm sure you want to reply to this e-mail just as little as I wanted to send it, but the interactions between the base and superstructure of society have forced us inexorably into this situation

Well, I for one feel very enlightened. I barely wished there were any beheadings or simulated sex in this one at all

Unbelievably boring. Paris was going to be a hard act to follow but it's difficult to imagine a worse attempt at it

probably because the name of the country is The United States of America

Absolutely nothing more humbling than when your mom absolutely rinses you like that.

I once told my mom we were going to a Jamaican restaurant here in town. she goes, "maybe the bobsled team will be there! haha!" and I rolled my eyes at her, don't say that mom, etc

Anyway that olympics' jamaican bobsled team was literally there, at the restaurant. doing an event. they were nice

Is the Jamaican bobsled team ever like "Hey we actually worked very hard for this and take it seriously, and we want you to take us seriously as well." I would be

They sent him to the freezer Olympics because let's face it the guy STINKS!

That whole first part was a baby's delight, it's true. The color tubes!

"y'all": affected, precious, attempts to establish false sense of familiarity with your audience

"you pieces of shit": direct, to the point, accurately and concisely addresses your audience and their concerns

Paris opening ceremony going to be the GOAT forever. Assuming we aren't embroiled in a hot civil war at that time, LA is going to be very embarrassingly tryhard I fear

Same it was soooooo good. This one’s giving school recital

This opening ceremony sucks insanely badly but I am watching to see how hard the US delegation gets booed

Lol thank god someone used the name

I like it in the comments when he’s like “oh it’s plastic.” Bud, some of us have object permanence!

That’s him!!!

OK but at least his shirt’s on. This is minor progress…

when it comes to forming proteins you simply cannot beat the humble amino acid

The one and only

William H Macy as Jerry Lundegaard from Fargo

Aw, baby's first "I just wanted to feel important and line my pockets a little bit but the unexplored crevasse of my character flaws has pulled me into the primordial soup of evil beneath society"?