Nander

One thing I have in common with Donald Trump is that neither one of us know what the fuck he’s talking about.

Well thanks lol

Thank you!!

#books

So we’re all just going to ignore how California wants a divorce?

Did you try holding space for the lyrics of defying gravity

Calling all respiratory therapists “Gaston” because they’re ESPECIALLY GOOD AT EXPECTORATING.

and if you don’t get this joke we can still be friends but please up your game so we can sing Disney karaoke together.

Please be mindful this New Years that your fireworks may trigger PTSD for wealthy CEO’s who are fearful with the adjuster still on the loose.
#FreeLuigi he’s innocent.

Some people need a lesson in Tupperware etiquette before next holiday season.

Santa just dropped by. Have him cookies and a smooch. Then asked him to bring some of left over rib roast to Luigi. He said “bet.”

That third party we always talk about… what are we calling it?

Luigi may have been born rich but he’s got two things money can’t buy— passion and balls.

Idc if #LuigiMangione was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He was smart enough to know what he was risking & he did it anyway cuz he believed in taking a stand against murd€r0us capitalists. There are other ways of fixing things. BUT the only thing bigger than his passion, is his balls.

I have no idea what your #97 thing is referencing. Please advise.

Random overshare: my first kiss was terrible. I was 13ish and he opened his mouth as wide as he possibly could, then cupped it over my mouth area. Then he shoved his tongue in like really stiff and just moved it side to side. It was so unpleasant I didn’t kiss anyone else until I was 16.

It’s packed full of protein is what it is. it’ll soak up the moister. Also I JUST ate them 5 min ago for the first time in months and here you are in my feed! They’re listening

*doctor: “do you have pain with BM’s?”
*Me (a nurse): “well yeah sure”
*doctor: “how much pain”
*me: “the normal amount.”
*doctor: “there is no normal amount”

-me getting diagnosed with endometriosis & PCOS

I don’t know who needs this reminder but seasonal affective disorder (SAD), sometimes called seasonal depression, usually starts in late fall to early winter (now). It’s a good time to discuss b vitamins, L-theanine, & other remedies with your doctor if you’re experiencing symptoms.

Scandalous!

JoJo Siwa saying “I like the way you’re grinding my bean,” is akin to an author, writing “folds” or “wet curls” in their Spicy book.
Nooorrrr

Cuz I’m a peace-seeking missile and I found myself.
I don’t have many friends so I am by myself.
And that’s cool.
I like me; I’m good for my health.
Not you.

-@heavenlyserver

David just told me, very matter of factly, that #MattGeatz stepped down from his nomination for attorney general. I can’t figure out why he didn’t whisper it into my ear but I guess romance is dead this far into a marriage. 🫡 (jk) 💙

Please stop posting the “if we go down we go down together” videos where you and your friends stand with your arms crossed in a V formation with mean mugs. You’re not going down with us. You’re going to watch America burn from the comfort of your couch an ocean away. It’s performative. Nice hat tho

BlueSky is #1 in App store. X is currently outranked by Snapchat by two spots, sitting at 48. 😂

Did someone post something about Opals & a Nimbus somewhere? Why is my book blowen up on lemon 8 out of absolutely nowhere?

Not Corey Tayler & Clown, two members of Slipknot, on Hot Ones Verses NOT EVEN KNOWING HOW TO TIE A SLIPKNOT 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Thanks!

Until blue sky gets polls, I’m dong it this way. Which one looks better?