stephanie vacher

if someone offered me a bowl of soup with just a little bit of dogshit in it, i would not eat the soup. even if they wrote a post about how they may not like dogshit, but how else are they supposed to sell soup if they can’t offer it to people who love a side of shit with their soup? still no.

go birds (alt)

humans are designed so fuckin stupidly because wdym i can’t just pay a doctor every year to powerwash all of my sinus chambers and start fresh with a new olfactory outlook on life

Image of labubu doll labeled labubu next to image of spiky labubu doll labeled lakiki

::slowly stands while clapping::

should probably make him an earl of somewhere

of all the days to be binge watching succession 😎

Fisher-Price Recalls Brunch & Go Stroller Toys Due to Choking Hazard Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled stroller toys, keep them away from children, and contact Fisher-Price to receive a free replacement stroller toy. Consumers will be asked to perman...

there's something deeply ironic about the children of millennials being told that they, too, are not allowed to enjoy avocado toast

www.cpsc.gov/Recalls/2025...

[high stress episodes]

- eastern european power plant employees are sent to fix some pipes

- green fire engulfs a house of worship

- italian christmas eve dinner

[medium stress episodes]

- paramedic has a tough time removing unexploded ordinance from a patient

- chem teacher’s wife pays back taxes with money stashed under their home

- a pennsylvanian ER treats many shooting victims

presenting my premiere television episode stress spectrum

[lower stress episodes]

- president’s deputy chief of staff doesn’t want to listen to yo yo ma

- big guy defends server rack from supervisor

- russian family has chat with their neighbor in a parking garage

this japan/SK/china alliance thing is the geopolitical equivalent of kendrick and drake dropping a double album of crooning duets

girl: babe i wanna dance

male figure skater: ok but i have some extremely specific requests that involve wearing sequins and strapping knives to our feet

male figure skater: also you have to do everything i do, but backwards

no native apple carplay integration 😭

cool i was thinking of doing a capitalism but now i’m gonna drive my car until it hits 250,000 miles or the wheels literally fall off and i can no longer re-attach them

thanks! we’re not really posting them on socials until they’re old enough to make educated choices about how visible they want to be on the internet 🥰 but suffice it to say that we’re thrilled

(i reserve the right to yap about my lived experiences though, lol)

very small, cute nose, looks a lot like @thegestalt.org

wasn’t prepared for the fact that i don’t really know any nursery rhymes so this small human is gonna get renditions of black hole sun and heart shaped box instead

no surprise that conan did so well hosting the oscars considering that the man knows exactly what it feels like to be robbed

Sending an email to employees asking them to list five things they did that week is a classic move from a manager who has no idea how to manage

They need him to be a genius because they cannot handle what it means for them to be tricked by a fool.

it’s so nice in theory though

you'd think after this many years of knowing myself as a clumsy person, i'd know better than to buy white clothing

Good morning to this man, and this man only #bbcqt

as someone who hasn’t worn a matching pair of socks in probably close to a decade i would implore you to embrace the chaos

left and right are merely suggestions, hell you could even buy another pair just to wear two left no right. the world is your oyster, my dear friend.

if we’re supposed to be in the final days of rome then we need fewer lifted trucks driven by sweaty men with metabolic syndrome, and more buff shirtless dudes driving gilded chariots with beautiful horseys. i’ll gladly sit back and watch this whole place go to hell with that kind of entertainment.

for the love of god i need this to be a real tweet (or toot, skeet, post, whatever)

tbh i appreciate the type of people who get excited for an MRI (even in the face of a potentially unfortunate diagnosis) because instead of thinking of it as a spooky claustrophobic magnet turbine, they see the opportunity for an experimental electronic music experience built for one

SF wanted in on that california attention too, i guess

to be completely honest- *my* FSA has been toast since march, but i know a handsome, healthy fella who just threw down a rather large sum today 🤭