Katie Meade

Happy Eurovision Eve!
I hope you remember to leave out picky bits and prosecco for Graham Norton.

🫡

Something is fundamentally wrong with America when millions of dollars can’t buy you a Wisconsin Supreme Court seat, the respect of your children, the silence of your baby mammas, or a functional penis implant.

Every time I use Vaseline to moisture my hands, I'm forced to think of Curly from Of Mice And Men.

0/10. Do not recommend.

Dolphins are so majestic.

Not to boast or anything, but last night I used a cardboard box I'd been keeping "just in case" for 2 years.

The finest fizzy beef wine was consumed.

I'm pretty sure I turn 33 on Wednesday.
I'm not entirely convinced, though.

Eyyy oh!

I mix up Robert Mugabe and Rupert Murdoch all the time. Now we've got Margot Robbie in the mix? Also, Australian? Very suspicious.

I'm putting that on my gravestone

Forget asking them if they'd still love you if you were a worm. Ask them if they would turn into a worm to be with you.

Thank you, I shall add this to my research

That's a lovely bit of business.

I can't stop singing Welwyn Garden City to the tune of Once in Royal David's City.

Please send help.

After pass the parcel, he'll hit on the mums.

OMG. Sooo embarrassing, I forgot to wish this little lad a very happy 10th birthday!

A round of applause for the great Matt Pritchett #elginmarbles

Oh, it's okay Doug Judy and Boyle are here

Hot Frosty.

Oh no.

I'm very excited to watch this later on today.

Those who eat apples in public are either the most wholesome or sinister people you will ever meet.

The one I'm currently on is about a windmill, and Chad Michael Murry seems to be dressed as a young Donald Trump.

It's that time of year again for terrible Christmas films.

I wonder which one about a business person going back to their small town and falling in love with the local craft/baker/tree wrangler I should watch?

Did you know? Black Friday is named in honor of Rebecca Black, who invented Friday in 2011.

I'm watching an old Top Of The Pops (because my 30s are thrilling), and it has only just clicked that Tina Turner's Private Dancer is not, in fact, about dance lessons.

TOP TIP: If you watch old nature documentaries, it still feels like there's hope.

Fashion really does come back around, ay?

Wow, Black Friday gets earlier every year.