Alistair Coleman

We don’t talk to those Coleman-misspelling curs.

She was an interesting character, to say the least.

Buggerit

As an Arsenal fan, I will always be delighted that the aerial view of the Spurs stadium looks like a toilet seat.

So sorry for your loss.

CLUNES territory

If those Russian guys said they came to Salisbury “to see the famous killer kerb”, we might have believed them.

“An accident waiting to happen” - Salisbury Journal

The piss tank on the Megabus to Margate is 145% full

Update pls.

Went to one when the bride didn’t show.

(Doof doof etc)

She turned up late in a tractor after her car broke down.

(Jellied eels intensify, nice Enders exit music)

I have Cockney relations in Essex, and no wedding or funeral is complete without jellied eels, pie & mash, or buckets of whelks. At one there was even a sing-song round the ol’ joanna. Great bunch of guys.

Errr…. nice one chelsea #TheFootball

“Heads up, we go again”

“But it’s the international break, Wayne”

“Heads up, we go again after that”

What three words golf.user.knowledge if you want it. Mind the little scrotes on electric scooters though.

An abandoned bra outside a kebab shop.

Outside the kebab shop: BRA DOWN

SATISFACTORY #TheArsenal

It’s all relative 👍

It was never “enjoys a bender round Soho with Jeffrey Bernard”

Sutton-in-Ashfield dad 'almost died' after getting flu The 42-year-old is now vowing to get his first ever flu jab and is urging others to do the same.

Don’t take my word for it

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Had my flu vaccine this morning, side effects walloping me this afternoon which means it’s getting to work installing Windows 11.

If you’re eligible, get vaccinated against flu & covid because it’s better than being dead.

It’s confused because we’re kicking off at 3pm on a Saturday.

News headline: Whitstable mum in custard shortage.

While you’re there, can you check on the custard situation?

Pope Leo holding a baseball bat like he’s going to crack an errant priest over the head during a dinner party.

“What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork” (Robert de Niro, The Untouchables, 1987)

Pope Leo holding a baseball bat like he’s going to crack an errant priest over the head during a dinner party.

“What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork” (Robert de Niro, The Untouchables, 1987)

As long as you accept that they were the most tremendous cheese, they were a terrific live act

Analogue satellite too. That bandwidth died for so little.

Dr Alban, the world’s most famous Swedish-Nigerian dentist #totp

“Live by satellite from Amsterdam - Status Quo” are words uttered by an actual human #totp

Pure human scum.