Mike E.

And boom, in a fucking baseball cap and tracksuit, Bruno Mars takes the stage and CRUSHES it. Fuck I love this city.

I’m at Pinky Ring. Of course super strict no photo/video policy. Dancing to the amazing band when suddenly the bouncers all stand on elevated platforms to REALLY make sure nobody’s got phones out.

So holy shit. You hear about things like this but you never think it actually happens. 🧵

Lovely day to go to Vegas.

Fontainebleau using “Heaven or Las Vegas” in their ads like I needed more reasons to love them.

It sucks how I'm trying to limit myself to two drinks on weekend nights but the real fun starts on drink three.

This is like worse than when iOS users accidentally invite an android into the group chat.

We always give The Simpsons credit for predicting the future but what about Southpark the movie where we went to war with Canada?

Chiefs? More like Queefs.

Literally every Uber.

Okay we're not going to talk about how Barron Trump gave the Hulk Hogan "I CAN'T HEAR YOU" salute?

YouTube video by OGLF I Wanna Shake His Hand

Literally me on my next flight. youtu.be/4ItmGplre28?...

In memory of Jimmy Carter, I vow to shake the hand of every passenger of every flight I go on from now on.

Having a couple days off after taking four days off is really great.

Literally me this weekend trying to achieve Royal at Fontainebleau.

(I was successful.)

IYKYK.

Does anyone actually play roulette for more than 10 minutes?

. @fblasvegas.bsky.social is juuust getting busy enough to have lines everywhere. Please make a Royal only line cuz I’m about to hit that shit. #suckitmatchedplayersabouttolosestatus

This’ll be my first stay at Fontainebleau without going to Poodle Room. Prayers appreciated.

I got one thing done on my to-do list and now I'm looking to get drunk.

As if UFC weren’t bad enough, how did we as a society allow Power Slap to happen?

That time of the year y’all reveal how shitty your taste in music is.

I spent Thanksgiving alone in a bar in Mexico…

It was fucking awesome.

Y’all can’t even name a Chuck Woolery 3-way.

jEfFrEy ePsTeIn

Oh sorry, wrong microblogging platform.

Whoa this is just like Threads except with far fewer late-20-somethings who feel they need to share their secrets-to-success listicles because they just broke $100k/year.