lavender menace

sorry bb it's for your health

I fucked up the placement of flea meds for kitty so I put her (mostly unused) harness on her so she can't lick it and boy. she is not happy about it

A two panel comic with Autumn and Summer from Nothing Doing. Autumn is wearing skull facepaint and a shirt with a rib cage and spine on it; Summer is dressed normally. Both are holding solo cups, and there are pumpkin decorations on the wall. p1 - Autumn: Oh, uh, skeleman. Scary skeleman. …no i’m pretty sure I said it right. Summer: I’m a sexy cartoon character. p2 - A: You aren’t wearing a costume. S: And baby don’t I know it~

happy hallows

The original Far Side Cow Tools Cartoon by Gary Larson. A cow stands on its hind legs behind a table, staring blankly at the viewer from behind its heavy brow ridge. On the table are four crudely made tools: a lump, a lump with an offset crooked handle, a long stick with hooked prongs at the end, and a crude handsaw with irregular teeth. In the background a barn sits on a hill. Caption reads, "Cow tools."

43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

friends with pennefits.....

it's crazy foggy this morning. I can't imagine navigating in this if I didn't know exactly where I was going

is the most 2025 product somehow turning a notepad into a subscription service (it's 100 to get started, and then 10 a month. to subscribe to having a notepad)

if you're like "surely there's more to it" I looked into it and there is not. it comes with a little wooden stand and is a notepad. $10 a month please

FWP = Friends With Penefits

I wish there was an aquarium close to me. I love the vibes.... looking at fish..... reading about fish.... jellies just chillin over there...

I had a dream where I was painting but I was just doing it on the floor and getting paint all over the carpet

hey past me what did this mean

I don't think he's illintentioned but he does have a screw loose

coworker talking about 'going to another country and bringing back a wife'??? bruh

I also wonder if they realized I gave them some wings for free lol

*the outfit in question was like an all-white lacy ruffly bloomers + leotard + sweater sleeves number and it looked amazing

today I told a customer I really liked their outfit* and while I did mean that, what I really wanted to say was 'wow you are so gorgeous' and I hope that came through

damn who's blasting payphone in the parking lot at 10 pm in 2025

Hilarious.

My bank can just do a stop payment at my request though. That's free. That takes 15 minutes on the phone. And it actively harms them because payment processors do NOT like when you get a stop payment order placed against you.

What you do with this information is between you and God.

dreamt that his ballsack had an 8 pack. that his balls were shredded

only thing I miss from twitter is mute rts

“Oh did I see you posting A.I? Instant unfollow Are you trying to argue with me about it? Instant block” There is a small cartoon portrait of myself, a round-faced Asian guy with round glasses and short hair, saying, “I’m just not that patient.”

UwU

Comic. [Three people standing behind podium labeled math department. Person with bun holds up a paper. Behind them is a projector screen displaying the equation 💀>26 x 10^21] [caption] Good news: Mathematicians have put a new lower bound on the *Cursed Number That Destroys the Minds of All Who Perceive It!* It’s at least 22 digits, which means it’s unlikely to be seen by any human no matter how many random numbers they look at. They say it’s once again safe to view large random numbers without eye protection.

Cursed Number

xkcd.com/3137/

they had to stop again immediately at the next light like 2 blocks away so like? nice job dummy

I was stopped at a red light and watched the car next to me (also fully stopped) decide they were tired of waiting and go straight through the intersection???

lmao I figured

you could easily be an influencer if you wanted to I think

art of a werewolf girl in glasses looking smug wearing a baggy tshirt. the tshirt has kasane teto in a baggy tshirt with the text "I FUCKING LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS AND BUYING CHEAP AS FUCK GROCERIES FROM WINCO"

new shirt idea

thank you 😊

I love my facial hair. that's what I'm supposed to look like