Deej

When they cut back to the NBC studio after the men’s figure skating final Scott Hamilton looked like 9/11 had just happened.

nobody posted the clip anywhere so i went and dug the whole episode up

in slo-mo, with music

USA curling team captain with mustache and mullet and trucker hat

I need this poster on my bedroom wall

Kraft is gonna have the saddest strip mall handjobs tonight

Seeing Dunkin’ ad:

Large television showing the boonta eve classic

They got the big game on at the bar

Cop: have you been drinking?

Me: had about 23 Michelob Ultras

Cop: alright, so no

I don’t know what any of this shit is and I’m fucking scared

Grocery store sign of bagel that reads: pick your own. Part of the sign is obscured to look like it reads: fuck your own

Relax, bread department

RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Remove Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Across Carpet WASHINGTON—In an address touting the practice as a completely drug-free method to relieve the common affliction, Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. demonstrated Thursday how ...

“Doctors won’t tell you this, but you don’t need medication for a tapeworm—all you need is the natural power of friction,” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said as he dropped to the floor, lifted his legs high, and dragged his ass along the White House carpet during a press conference.

“But in a sexy kind of way!”

Everyone is making fun of this but I hope I look that good when I'm Fran Lebowitz's age

I can't put into words the feeling of watching our government, a hive of evil antisocial filth, the absolute worst humanity has to offer, colliding with the best. Ordinary people trying to help each other, risking everything to stand up for what's plainly, unambiguously fair and right. It's unreal

The problem with that "First they came for" poem is it makes a lot of unlikely assumptions. For example it assumes they would ever come for me

Steven Cheung

Grimace after a grease fire burned off half of his body hair

Scrooge from Muppet Christmas Carol: You there, boy! What day is it? Bean Bunny: Why, it’s Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil, sir! Scrooge: Then I haven’t missed it!

INSIDE PAUL MCCARTNEY'S NOTEBOOK

C G
Nurse Nancy's feeling fancy dancy
Am F
At jamborees with Brother Jim

*

INSIDE JOHN LENNON'S NOTEBOOK

To Do:
☑️ look up more slurs for wife

Alien up close to Ripley but the alien is Alf

@trance.bsky.social

Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop

Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop https://theonion.com/childs-blow-into-car-breathalyzer-rewarded-with-dicey-trip-to-ice-cream-shop/

🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔

Oh hell yeah this is the kind of move you think up as a kid while you’re bored in church but don’t think anyone can do

I'm just going to leave this here.

WOW! #AEWCollision

Today I saw God die

Cignetti is rawdogging a quarter-zip without an undershirt he does not care if he lives or dies

Handshake meme TALKING ABOUT HOGGIES THE BOOK ANIMAL FARM FERNANDO MENDOZA

A skeet from “rare body oils” that says: TREBEK: Feel free to ask these diminutive spirits for sexual favors, but don't say "guten Tag" -- they're not actually German! me: who are the slut gnomes of false berlin TREBEK: Bizarre little men. You're still in control of the board

Those new to Bsky need to be made aware of one of the greatest skeets ever, deleted long before its time.

Not a bad way to spend the afternoon