This next song is called Whenever Someone Asks Why I'm So Fat I Say It's Because Their Mom Gives Me A Cookie Every Time I Deep Fuck Her by Fallout Boy

What kind of nails do fish have?

A-krill-ic

When people ask "and when will that happen?" or "what date will that take place" I say "well, of we're looking at the Julian calendar, then it looks like 45 or 46."

I'm not pleased with Russian leadership. Very dissaPutin...

I was going to make a sandwich with deviled eggs and then realized it would just be a lazy egg salad.