Eleanor Robertson

will you let him touch the owl?

bluey has appeared before the local magistrates court on charges of grievous bodily harm after she mauled an elderly woman at coles

read the very next post in the thread mary

I need to scroll!!! I need to scroll good posts!!!!!!

I can barely open x, the everything website, at all any more because of the total nazi dominance. but this site really blows

where do I go to follow the funny problematic people on here, sorry but you are all really boring weepy shitlibs

I was doing toddler cuddle patter with Theo today and I was like “where’d you get these cute little feet” and he looked me dead in the eye and said “I got them from the barbecue shop”

I am so fucking bad at this game man

this morning theo woke up and said "my have a bottom. do you have a bottom? daddy has a bottom. and... tony soprano [his soft toy bunny] has a bottom too"

nothing generates novel toddler stances like being excited the aunties have come to visit

you can always hop in the spa and reflect on your uncle

When I was pregnant with Theo I was on an antihypertensive that’s only used in pregnancy and it was in global shortage. Rupert (genius) had the idea to try Castlecrag pharmacy because no women of childbearing age live there. Their stock was old and dusty but they always had it hahahahaha

you're so welcome! surf's up!

great news everyone: I am unilaterally declaring that it is now summer in Sydney. I am wearing a tank top 🌺🌞🥬👙🕶️⛱️

Oh my god dude

that’s what I say every time I open one of his fucking emails

on day five of watching toddler tv 10 hours a day. they need to make a flu vaccine that actually stops the child from getting the flu

I love being a middle aged loser so much more than being young and interesting but I really wish my body didn’t just hurt all the time for no reason

He hates the part where the little mermaid gets legs

Theo’s got the flu. I’ve now watched the little mermaid more times in the past two days than the entire rest of my life put together

this is great info, thank you

yeah because you're a cunt, now fuck off

are trampoline parks a death trap y/n? really struggling to fill time with so many rainy weekends 😮‍💨

fuck off mark

it’s book week bitch

I really wish there was a shit selective school around here we could send our kids to, the good ones look way too high pressure. I loved the shit selective school experience

I love being a good enough cook that I don’t need to subscribe to the cooking substacks for the full recipe. Oh you posted a pic of the finished dish…. I can reverse engineer that 😈😈😈

I got a VINTAGE HANDMADE SKIRT that FITS ME. incredible. I think in the 70s they sent women of my size to be exhibited at the circus

lmfao I so wanted to be like IM NOT FROM HERE IM FROM WOLLONGONG BIIIITCH but I didn't as I want to go back

I went to the fancy op shop at northbridge the other day and it was 50% off everything, got so much good stuff that both of the staff members were like "wow you've done well haven't you!" that's right bitch I got 30 years experience. give me the A+ in op shopping