Owlsys

A photo of a cat under a bed with a rotisserie chicken with the caption: This is Beans. Beans stole a while rotisserie chicken off the counter. Not a piece. The whole chicken. Beans dragged it under the bed and growled at us for forty minutes. Beans is 9 pounds.

Become ungovernable

Olympic Gymnast Shannon Miller for me

Holy fuck I love Jamie Raskin so much

lightning, a transparent yelling raccoon in the sky, and a pleading opaque raccoon in the foreground. "Existing?? in THIS economy??"

I'm on this episode now (I let a backlog build up) and this story is just making my blood boil, holy SHIT dude this poor guy

Been a hot minute since #Okstate has had.... Well, anything.... To celebrate.

Oh look, exactly what we said was going to happen when Schumer caved on the shutdown

Thank you for your attention to this splatter, send skeet

We invaded France and no one will sell us a croissant. It’s very hard on the men.

Any Second Amendment folks want to have a nutty about this or nah because you all are fucking hypocrites.

Wooo that is some penetration

Don't look at the news. We somehow found a way to get our hearts ripped out anyway.

The Broncos won a HELL of a game against the Bills, and my heart just got ripped out of my chest anyway. If this isn't a textbook giving example of what it's like being a Broncos fan sometimes, I dunno what is

There is nothing on this earth, not even a gun barrel pointed at my head, that will make me vote for this man

I'm a single issue voter and my single issue is Revenge

I am pleased to announce that the Interim Authorities in Venezuela will be turning over between 30 and 50 MILLION Barrels of High Quality, Sanctioned Oil, to the United States of America. This Oil will be sold at its Market Price, and that money will be controlled by me, as President of the United States of America, to ensure it is used to benefit the people of Venezuela and the United States! I have asked Energy Secretary Chris Wright to execute this plan, immediately. It will be taken by storage ships, and brought directly to unloading docks in the United States. Thank you for your attention to this matter! DONALD J. TRUMP PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

If Trump is really stealing spending power from Congress then it would be insanity for Democrats to vote to fund the government later this month. Shut it down until the president stops wiping his ass with the Constitution.

Literally a publication for eight-year olds 40 years ago

Frohes Neues Jahr vom Deutschland! 🎆🎇🎊🎊🎊

The phrase "obtain gigachad" makes me think that the person that said we should bring back bullying, might have a point. Bring back bullying, but only for these stupid sad incels.

If you’re wondering why your friends in academia are a little on edge right now, it’s because an eighteen-year-old who hasn’t done the reading, doesn’t look at the assignment, and has does no critical thinking skills more complex than “because I think it’s in the Bible” can literally end your career

‘Soup’ was a slang term for drugs that were injected into a horse to make it run faster.

A racehorse that was on PEDs was said to be ‘souped up.’

We now use the term to refer to anything that is enhanced.

Dyslexia be damned, this is a horribly worded question.

"Are we still capable of talking to each other," asks the woman hired by billionaires whose economic model is predicated on fomenting polarization to install an actual criminal who dismantles the regulatory state that kept them from fully extracting what remaining wealth there was from the lower 99%

He will have more time to spend with his greatest love: making sure no one in his family has ever masturbated

Luke Skywalker on Tatooine looking at the twin suns going down over the desert. They have cartoony screaming faces with weird teeth and are labeled Capitalism and Nationalism. Second image: extreme close up of Luke's face: "I fucking hate it here."