Liz Wallace

All of my socials’ timelines for the past 12 hours:

I’m not calling Trump “Daddy”.
HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A BEARD.🙄

I love how Trump is signing off at the end of his posts now, as if we couldn’t tell from the preceding vitriolic, 3rd-grade-level word salad that it was him.

I just saw a CHILD driving a BMW SUV with “Senior c/o 2026” chalk-painted across its windows.

And this is how I know there is no God. 🤮

Happy P. Diddy Jury Selection Day to all those who celebrate. 😆

Today, we gather to rejoice as we celebrate the highest of holy holidays! 🙌🏻

It coincidentally is also Easter. 🐰

Lady Gaga’s Coachella performance is going to be my entire personality now, thank you for understanding. 💀

The Venn diagram of folks who told us to “pick better men” and the ones who are now bellyaching about a “male loneliness epidemic” is a circle. 🔴

Fear has a way of being contagious.

But courage is also contagious.

Just remember, every Tuesday is Fat Tuesday when you’re thicc & willing to flash drunk strangers. 💁🏻‍♀️🥳

Elon Musk is the worst thing to happen to autism since microfiber.

Fellas, don’t just simp for your girl today, simp for her EVERY. DAY. Because no matter how great you think you are, I promise you, she’s better than you in every conceivable way. 😮‍💨💅🏻

Feel like 95% of politicians are eric adams but they're just better at getting away with being an eric adams than eric adams

I sure hope Taylor Swift wins the Super Bowl again today. 🥹🥰

Charlamagne Tha God's wake-up call to Republicans: Elon is constitutionally cucking you!

POA- Puttin’ On Ass

If Elon Musk not president, why president-shaped? 🤨

Fun Fact: The F in RFK, Jr. stands for Fuckface.

One thing I know for certain, is that George Carlin would have LOVED Luigi Mangione.

We need to make the humans that created them responsible for these robots. Kidnapping shouldn’t be legal just because it’s fucking funny

Monday mood:

Something that almost never happens: Today, December 4, in this year of our Lord 2024, I was checked out in public by a strange man that I actually found attractive. It was odd to find myself smiling back at him, instead of hissing and reaching into my boot for a knife. 💁🏻‍♀️

www.instagram.com/reel/DCxBv_w...

Bro.