Alanta

I’M A POLLINATOR I scream as I slip and tumble down a hill, a beer in each hand

I can’t believe we’re at the ‘being nostalgic about old versions of ChatGPT’ bit of history

Do you think Bond ever uses EAP

A sudden sense of loss of community as the trial ends. I find myself edging towards a true crime Facebook group to keep mulling over the verdict with other followers. Followers that will one day betray me, and stand in the witness box to testify against me oh yeah okay I see how this happens

The main time I need to see what’s in my fridge is when I’m in the supermarket. Why can’t I see what’s in my fridge when I’m at the supermarket

Found myself thinking ‘wow, it feels like Trump hasn’t done anything too insane lately, forgetting I’d cut myself off from every channel by which I’d be forced to listen to such insanity

I want Penny Wong to be my hype man

I recently deleted all the phone games off my phone and it’s really freed up my time to work on a series of other compulsive and addictive behaviours

Just over a week till this nonsense occurs at Howler in Brunswick. Just a grand assortment of folk. Tickets here: t.ly/ibF6I

Just over a week till this nonsense occurs at Howler in Brunswick. Just a grand assortment of folk. Tickets here: t.ly/ibF6I

Tuesday March 4 at Howler! See @charlewincomedy.bsky.social Josh Ladgrove, @maddyweeks.bsky.social @benji metha and more decide whether space is the place (for regulation). Tix at moshtix! 🥊

Deactivated Instagram, Threads, and, after nearly 20 years, FB. After I’m confident of my backups they’ll be deleted. I’ll be weening myself off Messenger and WhatsApp next. Zuck’s lost the plot and my business. I can choose to not be a cog in an unjust, unethical, and immoral machine. Facts matter.

To be fair, Musk doing sig heil salute is the most efficient way to make Nazism daggy

The beauty of being a global citizen is having the opportunity to imbibe the products of the world’s best story tellers without knowing them well enough to find out about all the people they misrepresented on the way

Giving my cat the cold shoulder as pennance for bringing a moth into my bedroom at 5am in the world’s most pointless effort at behavioural conditioning

If golfers were any good they wouldn’t need cleared grasslands to play their game. They could play in a forest. Being able to see where the hole is? That’s golf on Childs mode.

I will not make a single creative thing without a gun to my head (deadline)

Me: working on a speech for tomorrow night I’ve had over 6 months to prepare for and absolutely refused
‘This is awesome why don’t I write more science comedy’

I read that as ‘Weird Artificial Intelligence’ and was so confused

I’m Thom Yorke and if you’re looking for an “okay computer” you can’t go past a Dell Inspiron 15 Laptop. It’s basically fine

‘Breaking his silence’ is such an extra way to say ‘said’

Getting Fyre Festival tickets for my secret Santa this year

every poster thinks they are casually sharing their passing thoughts; every replier thinks they are critiquing a manifesto

Hard relate.