jessican’t🤍

giraffe queen

i laughed too loudly at this

do you ever look at your kids and think, “wow we’d all die instantly if we were in the quiet place film universe”

neurologist: hello, I spent 14 years studying your brain. I have some medicine that can slow or stop this disease and help you live better, would you like some?

idiot: no thank you i’m just gonna eat some kale and manifest myelin

on a ms group on fb and people actually seriously discussing not taking dmts and doing a “natural route”

bitches we were all taking a “natural route” before this and we still got this bullshit disease

thank you arch 😭❤️

thanks lina xxx

luv u vee ❤️❤️❤️❤️

thank you soph 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️

thanks jack 🥰❤️

can you believe it? cause i can’t help

i went to my uni today to give id for dbs and i was like “this isn’t happening”

thank you pumpkin xxx

i forgot to tell you all i got a first in my degree and have been accepted to do a masters so

suck it bitch to everyone who doubted me

i haven’t watched porn for 7 days, thanks starmer

voted for two white men today

disappointed in myself but not surprised

a close up of a woman 's face with a tear coming out of her eye ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with a tear coming out of her eye

just did the face scan and it knew i was an adult straight away

didn’t even pause to think for even a moment

5 y/o: how long is an hour
me: an hour
5 y/o: oh okay

i don’t understand straight people

cat demands to be let outside

let indoor cat outside in the garden with me

cat gets angry at the wind

cat then gets mad at me for thinking i have created the wind

i try to explain i didn’t create the wind but he doesn’t believe me

cat demands to be let back inside

end of next week so if i go completely silent assume the worse

had the interview for this btw and i did the very best i could so if i don’t get it im completely giving up on life ❤️

he did it 🥹 he finally let me hold his dick whilst he peed 🥹🥹🥹

it’s mad that i literally found the love of my life on twitter and we are still so in love and happy

it’s too hot to function

ones boiled without the shell so therefore much more fancy???

my friend asked me what’s the difference between a poached egg and a boiled egg and i couldn’t answer

surely this is an offer he can’t refuse????

trying to teach our 5 year old to face time, didn’t pick up one time cause i was getting juice and saw this notification on my phone

a little hamster driving a red car that says “oops that was illegal but it’s fine”

me driving like

when you go to your master’s pre interview where you’d become a psychotherapist with this as your pfp