@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
Probably chilling 50 yrs ago or 50 yrs from now. When are we? (he/him) More: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:53hxlujdaqhfyc6g5dnatflj/feed/aaabyrmlb2cmw
putting tums on my pizza to save time
28.11.2025 22:07 — 👍 566 🔁 108 💬 16 📌 4Got my winter Croc's bitches.
29.11.2025 03:38 — 👍 107 🔁 29 💬 11 📌 0Desire is a river in…. Wait.
29.11.2025 15:56 — 👍 18 🔁 6 💬 2 📌 0Everything I'm doing fits in less and less. Take living in a hole hoarding all positive space for example
28.11.2025 06:04 — 👍 88 🔁 50 💬 2 📌 1turkey pardoned by trump rearrested for drunk driving and gun possession
27.11.2025 17:17 — 👍 344 🔁 59 💬 5 📌 2My plus one for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner is vodka.
27.11.2025 00:08 — 👍 70 🔁 28 💬 2 📌 0If you haven’t already, take your turkey out of the freezer and serve immediately for a nice, cold turkey pop.
27.11.2025 14:38 — 👍 45 🔁 6 💬 2 📌 0Our surroundings have always listened in on us, their capitalism is the environment of a perfect moment. "Your surroundings have their hands up, you are too paranoid for the presence of psychic shopping"
25.11.2025 17:12 — 👍 47 🔁 27 💬 1 📌 0It wasn’t a social media post, it was a glimmer of hope.
22.11.2025 22:36 — 👍 39 🔁 18 💬 1 📌 0Christmas budget: ditch loved ones, buy books for myself.
25.11.2025 11:13 — 👍 173 🔁 43 💬 9 📌 1Anyone want to try my Thanksgiving leftovers smoothie tomorrow?
27.11.2025 17:39 — 👍 70 🔁 25 💬 7 📌 0I may not be fluent, but I can be silent in many languages.
24.11.2025 15:28 — 👍 208 🔁 92 💬 4 📌 1Is it weird that none of my neighbors are strange
squirrel on my shoulder: I don’t think so
Youre telling me a devil fucked this egg?
27.11.2025 16:32 — 👍 87 🔁 17 💬 5 📌 1My jokes are past their tell-by date.
27.11.2025 20:55 — 👍 17 🔁 7 💬 0 📌 0Vaping has killed the cousin walk industry
27.11.2025 19:55 — 👍 260 🔁 41 💬 12 📌 9Thanks, giving up.
27.11.2025 14:11 — 👍 21 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 0a woman posted a pic in a group chat of a baby turkey she bought thinking it was a chicken. She captioned the pic "IS THIS A TURKEY?!?"
Anyway, I haven't been here because I've been yelling IS THIS A TURKEY at everything. You should try it
My alt account would just be all the lyrics that’s been living in my head since the 80’s.
22.11.2025 20:20 — 👍 67 🔁 24 💬 0 📌 0“The pleasure is all mine.” Okay, selfish fuck.
27.11.2025 21:16 — 👍 53 🔁 7 💬 2 📌 0trying to figure out how i can cook thanksgiving dinner from my bathtub
26.11.2025 15:13 — 👍 164 🔁 40 💬 11 📌 3in canada we call today yankee thanky
28.11.2024 20:12 — 👍 1111 🔁 180 💬 41 📌 14Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
26.11.2025 18:31 — 👍 368 🔁 115 💬 7 📌 0
Frigg is lounging on top of a cabinet being a beautiful cat and surveying her domain
queen of the castle
26.11.2025 14:34 — 👍 21 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0cats only want what's best for you (subservience)
26.11.2025 00:06 — 👍 66 🔁 23 💬 0 📌 0DON'T TRY TO FORCE THE POSTS OR YOU'LL INFECT THE WHOLE AREA.
26.11.2025 04:26 — 👍 145 🔁 56 💬 2 📌 0Orders a Xanax martini for breakfast.
26.11.2025 13:16 — 👍 132 🔁 64 💬 7 📌 1the names bond. gold bond.
25.11.2025 17:18 — 👍 151 🔁 54 💬 6 📌 0Send me a verification code, won’t you? I promise I won’t share it with anyone—it will be our little secret.
26.11.2025 01:30 — 👍 18 🔁 6 💬 1 📌 0Pestering someone to literal death is called annoyhilation.
25.11.2025 17:24 — 👍 203 🔁 75 💬 2 📌 2
