B 🐝

When someone says I’m wrong I just say “nuh uh” and then they change their mind

shedding my meat suit to reveal my true form: a dumb bitch

me & my bush versus the unrelenting polar vortex

Believe women when we tell you one of your buddies is a piece of shit. We know

i've been called self centered before and to me it's like, yeah. why wouldn't i be. i am my main character. you are yours. center self

how hot do you have to be for your nudes to be art

You may not think my posts are very good but, rest assured, I know they aren't.

modern medicine has nothing on the healing powers of an all you can eat breakfast buffet

all of MY songs are bangers and my friends don’t hate me but my brain ALWAYS wants me to think they do

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m hella annoying and you won’t like me for long

if youre a goddess you have to tell me

i am

🫂

A meme where the top panel shows a drawing of a femme presenting person with long auburn hair looking at their phone. The text they’re sending says “I'm COMINGOVER U BetterNOT Be way down yonder on the Chattahoochee.” And the second panel has a screen cap of county singer Alan Jackson water skiing in a white cowboy hat, implying that he is in fact way down yonder on the chattahoochee

baby, it’s the freakin weekend

I think it’s funny when people are like your kid is 18 they can be on their own. Have you seen the world? Nah, my kids will always have me.

when i say i’m hauntingly beautiful it just means i’m so pale you can see my skeleton

Kinda rude of them to require pants but okay

hey guys time’s almost up which one of you is my valentine

no thank you, new fresh horrors, i’m still digesting yesterday’s

being rolled around on the 711 hotdog rollers must feel so good for the hotdog

some people contain multitudes…i contain six gas station hot dogs

marking myself as out of office while sitting at my desk cause i don’t wanna deal with anyone

i’m okay with compromise as long as i always get my way

woke up and chose oblivious

can i be the fairy godmother if you do?

Reverse cowgirl so I can eat my bag of shredded cheese

donut: *exists*

me: so ... you have chosen death

replays song lyrics and tells me my friends are mad at me

yeah, your titties are great. what that brain do tho?

happy frigay to all my favorites gays, theys, bros, and hoes 💕💕💕 glad you’re here