B 🐝

a fun thanksgiving ice breaker is to go around the table and rate everyone by hotness. it’s fine if no one else wants to play

i eat it like corn on the cob

string cheese is just cheese hair, hair that is now inside you, it’s a part of you

*gets out of bed*

Me: This is bullshit.

*first day as a drug dealer*: “you can save some money if you get the generic version”

*First day as a drug dealer*: "is Pepsi ok?

[passenger next to me starts putting in earbuds] Are you mad at me?

People with glass hearts shouldn't throw themselves at people with hearts of stone.

just know that if you sit next to me on an otherwise completely empty bus I am casting a hex on you in my mind

Boobs

ask not for whom the butt holes it holes for thee

heating pads that are people sized and shaped for the even distribution of heat and pressure

got called into hr again for how i ate a banana at my desk

if anyone needs me i’ll be haunting an abandoned amusement park

woo and I cannot emphasize this enough hoo

thinking about getting into smiting and other god-related activities

I need the cha-ching sound effect of a cash register bell every time I buy anything online so I remember I am spending real money

c’mere 🔥

Is there somewhere I can opt out of being perceived?

little bug standing with her hands on her hips trying to remember what blade of grass she laid 10,000 eggs on

i’m an absolute sweetheart if you never get to know me

hot girl lighting a cigarette with the fire from a molotov cocktail they're holding while the words hot girls against fascism burn in the background

just made this piece to go on t-shirts for a fundraiser my badass friend @kalikode.bsky.social is organizing

if I'm being honest my musical taste is best described as "good"

happy for you!!

curious about my cooking skills? i’m bringing plates to thanksgiving

i never put my nose to the grindstone it’s all rough and scratchy and my nose is so delicate

Red Rover Red Rover send your titties on over

I would let you pull my hair

Don’t ask people how they’re doing. We are bad

sorry can't make it, wednesday evenings i have my squirt class