nobody of interest

the breadtop parmesan sponge just goes so crazy. i wish i could buy an entire cake of it

i wish i could get to the safety of my house faster

just had a legitimate panic attack for. i can't even remember the last time it happened. maybe bc i just did my induction shift at my job maybe bc of head and jaw pain or both. its so scary thinking you're about to faint in public

i think you should remember the lessons of only yesterday and do more drawing lol

what i wish is that yellow capsicums weren't so crazy expensive for unknown reasons

i obeyed my own instincts (fresh tomato + mutti paste amongst other choices) and skipped the white wine and my risotto was superior this time. take That womens weekly

I think I'm going to bravely go out there with headphones in and blank her

its pretty awkward when your housemate steals drugs from you. and she's in the kitchen. and you don't want to bump into her and be polite but you bought ingredients for risotto and you're starving

and underneath your wimple you had CURLERS in your hair!

sometimes i think it was pretty mean to cast keanu reeves in coppolas Dracula. i'm sure coppola knew everyone would pan his performance for being exactly the way it was supposed to be

YouTube video by Cher - Topic Lovers Forever

i hate to find out there was a lesbian version of interview with the vampire that didn't get made in the 80s starring Cher for which she made this song. based on the song i can't even imagine how good it would have been

while driving the other nuns crazy with your free-spirited lechery. waltzing on your way to mass and whistling on the stair......

you would be writing in the convent about jesus' huge breasts and holy jiggling ass and trying to become a saint

you're blessed special and fortunate

i wish i could draw for hours and hours without getting bored. i draw every day rn. but never for more than 2 hours cos that's my total tolerance for anything other than hanging out (infinite tolerance) or video game

so bored i want to bash my skull in

absolutely obsessed with pieces of paper

so since nobody writes books anymore i guess i maybe i need to get tiktok to deepen my personal studies since instagram doesn't know how to deliver social & political content that's actually relevant to its users. it doesn't even understand which animal videos i actually like

people tend to focus w a reactionary emphasis on the extremes of ideological commitment like isolated phenomena, not about how they - and the virtual social landscape - are defining gender and dating for people in general rn

everyone seems to be trying to work out whether in economic crisis they can revert to old school heterosexuality (trad) or embrace new modes (tr*ns) or divestment (cels). but it's impossible to find people writing anything interesting on the topic

the difference between this and previous eras is like say emo/indie & metrosexual, there weren't popular cultural dialogues about s*xism & tr*nsgenderism that attended those phenomena. ppl tell me it's the same, but nothing is ever the same

i think there's a real cultural tension. girls more than ever love male gnc/ity ("p*rformative male"). and aren't dating men because they don't buy the family (economics). there are record breaking numbers of young bisexuals. simultaneously gender conservatism is having a strong swing back bc of it

question mark indeed

hell yeah gender discourse on the timeline. maybe i need tiktok if i wanna see people say anything interesting or controversial

last night i was reading something on Dennis coopers blog and all his replies to his reply guys and then in my quest to like feel like i exist and have made some sort of mark on the world i remembered that person who tried to get him to read spikes and i found the post and checked if he responded

if you could get acclaim and influence from doing exactly what you want to do and never applying yourself to anything else that would be ideal because i think acclaim and influence would honestly and legitimately make me happy. if it was for doing exactly what i want to do

my life has an above average amount of meaning probably. is it worse to be afraid, exhausted and trying not to cry for 15-20 hours a week than lying in my bed wondering why i was born seemingly incapable of feeling any lasting contentment? at least work sucks for reasons that make sense

why is it so hard to give a fuck. some people, despite the state of the world, arent MAJORLY depressed. in times of crisis you're meant to stop thinking about stupid shit like whether your life has meaning. well soon i'll be back at my job and surely too miserable to think about stuff like meaning

when i look at my dad im like.... he's even dumber than i am in the realm of disorganised thinking and problem solving, definitely slower, but hes never gotten into meaningful problems other than being under skilled and low-paid his whole life. i don't know what's wrong with me

but at this point i actually do have PTSD i guess. not that other people get PTSD from grief or maybe they do. i both do and don't remember stuff from the past 4 years. but im also on medication that certainly contributes to memory loss. who knows. all i know is i can't think properly