ghostt

i try not to linger in dysphoria but man the fact that ive been on T for 5 or 6 years and still get misgendered on the daily feels so alienating and awful and, when from coworkers, deeply fucking disrespectful. hate it here.

i miss when my store had mostly queer people in it instead of a legion of identical cishet women who constantly misgender me and my friends. Its gotten so bad even people who have worked with me for years are consistently misgendering me. feels fucking bad

YAAYY thank god. I hope the rest of it goes well!!!

Ahh Lulzy I'm so sorry. Please take care, let us know if you need anything...

vitamin d supplements helped me feel normal for like five days but i am once again mega depressed for seemingly no reason. we're doing Bad today i'm afraid

GODSPEED SOLDIER

wow this is probably the best explanation of triggers ive Ever seen.
and god yeah having triggers for fairly innocuous things is so. maddening.

im the stickiest ive ever been in my life. help

wishing every customer a please please im already dead leave me ALONE

scared Im gonna show up and get evaluated and be told everything is fine actually and just never have another chance to figure this shit out <3

hrrrgg. psych evaluation this week. ✨i dont wanna ✨

my clinic is getting sketchier and suddenly charging me too so i might need to stop therapy … right as i get any kind of actual diagnosis. or not. whos to say

man … Chicken I’m so sorry 🫂 take care dude

i guess it's a good thing to know that people can find accounts through who blocks who so i know i'm not safe from say. my abusive ex who at least USED to stalk me. until things are truly privated. fun while it lasted i fucking guess

people who have absolutely no business finding this account have found it so it's time to never touch it again until bluesky finally actually adds private accounts god bless.

wow i straight up can't stay conscious today even after eating and caffeine. what is going ON.
do you think they'll let me leave work early if i black out

she's so cuuuuuute. shakes her

I'm so sorry Virgil, that's awful. I hope things quiet down for you, please take care friend ♥

I need september to be over so badly. cursed cursed month. It’s been especially bad this year

being on this med is like being in the water and seeing a massive leviathan underwater pass you by instead of eating you and tearing you to tiny bits and pieces. and this time the shark is chewing on my leg but not killing me very dead at least

speaking of my drugs that work thank god for them bc something has ignited my Parasite Fear real bad to the point i wasnt able to eat the day it happened. and while it is bad and i cant stop thining about it I KNOW IT'D BE SO MUCH WORSE WITHOUT THE DRUGS

sometimes ritalin works and sometimes it ruins my whole day and ability to do anything including express emotions for like two days.

crazy how i've been on more psychiatric drugs than i can count and there is exactly One that has had a tangible positive impact on my life.

man i wish adhd meds were the nice perfect solution for me that they seem to be for other people.
it sucks bc i'm like. do i not actually have adhd. did i accidentally trick my old doctor into giving me drugs. if so WHY cant i focus on anything, ever, please

Thank you 😭I really appreciate it Juin <3
and yeah, medical stress seems to always come with a "when it rains it pours" effect. bleh

i was so in awe of all of the beautiful greenery when I visited with y’all 🥺 (and thankful for the shade from trees)
it’s nice being in a place where theres greenery from individuals instead of strategically placed greenery developed that way by the city (coughs, my uni town)

and it sucks to complain about because i feel like Im begging or guilt tripping!!! im not!! you dont have to do anything about this!

kicks dirt

I could cut the icon prices down but I feel bad doing that so soon after initially posting them and getting one comissioner. grr

why did i have to get siiiiick Im so fucking nervous abt paying for this surgery bullshit.

wringing my fucking hands abt the icon comms i was doing not going well. hrgh. i might do pwyw ones in a sketch style like these again or something bc those did really well but mannn maaaaannnnn Im Nervous

i have a really hard time relating to other trans people because truly. i was never treated like a girl or woman, i was treated like a sick kid to feel bad for. I'm not just transitioning, i'm reclaiming something i didnt get to have because i was too ill

what i mean by this is, your gender is painted by the rest of your experiences as a person, like race, class, where you live, etc etc. in my case it was effected deeply by illness, and being degendered/othered/dehumanized because of it