Mori

Side tangent, but it’s people who go about life treating Psychosis as the Uncontrollable Asshole Disease that keeps the symptoms stigmatized. Do fucking better.

Was wrong.

When you double down on the behavior, you’re now using psychosis as an excuse and I can’t abide by that.

You can’t just “I’m going to push you around because I’m having a psychotic episode” and then pull the

“They’re holding what I did during a psychotic episode against me!” schtick if you never actually acknowledge the behavior as inappropriate

It would be one thing if you understood what you did

That’s just not how it works!

Have I treated others poorly during a psychotic episode? Yes. But it then became my responsibility to apologize and recognize my behavior as irrational.

Like I’m not going to get into it but last fall/winter was very bad for me in that regard

Saw a post on tumblr that pissed me off

As someone with schizoaffective disorder, experiencing a psychotic episode would not absolve me or anyone else of abusive behavior. People should not use their mental health conditions as a free pass to treat others poorly

I wish things were as easy as being told precisely what I need to do to be the best I can be — and to reduce pain as much as possible.

The trial and error aspect of interacting with others is exhausting and painful

I don’t want to upset anyone — and I don’t want to be upset etc

I often catch myself thinking that I must be some type of fuck-up or a bad person when bad things happen around or to me — or when I catch myself making mistakes that hurt myself and others.

It’s stressful, you know. I feel like I’m playing by rules I don’t or can’t understand

I’m sorry Chicken, we recently lost Olive the same way :( it never feels fair

Could it possibly be that I was around a toxic community that thrives over pettiness and drama? Nooo never

darpers will never change

my life has been remarkably drama-free since a few people exited my life, I do wonder why that could possibly be 🙄

I’m so so sorry, Lulzy — I will keep you and your family in my thoughts 🫂

I don’t like feeling like I’m in this cloudy fugue but I don’t know how to poke out

URGGHH I hate it SO much!!!

the uwuification of neurodivergence has done so much damage in general — but also like TO ME!!!

I’m not “neurospicy” I’m disabled and oftentimes the symptoms are NOT cute or quirky! They cause problems for me and the people I care about!!

Ughhh I’ve not been TRYING to isolate myself recently — but I realize I have been 😞 depressed and tired and blegh

Its not even like sadness or despair or anything — just depression in the purest sense- Dampened and disinterested and down

Aufhhhhjjgh the Seasonal Darkening has begun to fog up my sense of self yet again !!

Of course I’m doing better than last year, but I’m not looking forward to the Ick regardless

Aughhh I get very Self Conscious about my Tism sometimes when my efforts to be friendly go Way Sideways

I can’t usually read between the lines so I don’t really WRITE between the lines either - so to speak aufgggg

Good luck Chicken 😣 may circumstances be kind

Lulzy, hold my hand

Context: I got ejected from a friend server because one person asked for me to be kicked. They didn’t tell me anything they just Kicked me. I ask why, they lie and say they were just kicking inactive folks. I ask to come back, they tell the truth(?) and get made at me when I say im hurt

Thank you ghostt 🫂

My abuser is a deeply boring person and it’s so funny, what a fucking loser

I need things to stop happening for ONE second. ONE second.

Had a cousin I hadn’t seen in a while, kill himself this week. UGHHHH

grow a fucking backbone

For some people online their personal comfort is faaaaar more important than their moral compass — and if they are ever uncomfortable, they just redefine where North is supposed to be at any given moment.

Oh I’m uncomfortable? There must be a moral wrong being done here… stfu

I felt like I couldn’t trust my gut around him — that my senses and feelings didn’t accurately reflect reality- Like I didn’t understand why I was hurting so bad when everything was supposed to be fine and normal. I thought I was crazy and the problem. He made me feel crazy. I wasn’t

I realize I’m going to have to go through a lot of work to unlearn a lot of bad shit I got used to doing around abusive ex friend — that it wasn’t normal how much I was put down and shut up and too scared to talk and express myself. That I’m not as clueless as I felt when I was around him.

It might seem like people yell abuse online to dodge responsibility for their part in things, and certainly there are cases of that, but I feel like if you’re paying attention to how something is being presented — you’ll be able to sort things out for yourself. Idk

I think we all, collectively, need to understand that victims generally don’t want to say they’ve been abused. It’s hard. It feels like committing to something you can’t take back. Admitting to yourself that you’ve been abused to also admitting a loss of control that can be embarrassing.

I’m just in the process of learning that many people, especially online, just aren’t capable of listening to someone when they’re trying to communicate that something happened to them.

But a lot of abuse won’t happen out in the open where you can see. It’s going to happen when abuser and victim are alone together. Obviously it’s going to be a shock when stuff comes out — but people really need to ask themselves if they’re strong enough to stand by what they believe is right.