Rich Arnold 🤌

When people are throwing up we say they can’t keep food down but when people have diarrhea I think we should say they can’t keep food up.

But that’s just me. The humble man in the arena out here trying things

Rigging up an elaborate pulley system to build bunk beds for when it’s my time with the kids on the first and third Sunday each month

I worked there for years. I can tell you with 100% certainty this has been in progress for a while

They almost certainly did, man

If I use the 🤙 emoji I’m specifically referencing the “monster energy is satanic” lady

Also there’s a lot of cuddling with the homies that’s very sweet

I’m reading this right now and having the time of my life

So we’re all gonna just act like we always knew the word “stochastic” then?

New shirt for the coworkers asking me for invites

Going to go watch some scumbag wrestling show. Everyone say “have a good time Rich”

Listening to this woman on a first date tell this guy that Mr Bean got caught pounding off in movie theaters back in the day

I liked this Friday’s but mostly cause I like when there are long boys I can solve with no crossing letters cause I feel like a god king made flesh

Explaining to the people at work that I was able to get on Bluesky because I’m a better poster than I am a designer

The jacket is very hard

This is like how with a very powerful telescope we can see back to the Big Bang

When he reaches his final form he’ll be posting the Macarena baby

If we could switch from Alf to posting Corrado hog it would be much more in my wheelhouse

I keep getting ads on IG for what I can only describe as a “very horny” looking shower curtain

Wife: Hey, how was work today?

Guy who is about to invent the phrase “the shit just hit the fan”: Honey you’re not gonna fucking believe it

This app feels like the last scene of the sopranos where some new ghoul from my past keeps walking through the door

Now we separate the true posters from the cowards

I’m sure this is a surprise. If you like thrills like this you should buy The Palmer Hotel, a collection of spooky short stories set over a century at a downtown hotel, too!

($15 to Venmo: Rich-Arnold, include your address)

Sending out my little bluesky codes

*extremely full of shit voice*

Yeah we’re mutuals on Twitter

Happy to see all my friends showing up to their jobs at the new brain damage factory

Hey before he shows up, are we cool if I take over the “Buy the Palmer Hotel, a collection of spooky short stories set over a century at a downtown hotel” gimmick?