🔪🔪🔪bryan 🔪 🔪 🔪

Some people think that wearing a wig like this is insecurity but it’s actually super-security

The woman knows that I love making fun of hair

I wish you could see how black it is

My wife just texted me to come into the room to see this incredible wig

Same here

Listen. I love Kyle Orielly and I also think Kyle Fletcher is good but the audience is about to make this match intolerable

I thought they did too. And the smirk works better as a babyface thing tbh

Pac looking like Austin Aries freaks me out every time

Look in my eyes what do you see, a sell out that went to Turkey.

I’m not a Jack Perry fan but he’s fine in this role

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Hey man, what’s going on with this hair?

Thank you for understanding

I wouldn’t mind sucking him off, I just don’t think he would make a good president

The Elon Musk/Jared Leto collab we always wanted

I want to tie myself to train tracks and let a train run over me every time someone says that they like Gavin Newsom because he trolls Trump

It’s funny to see them come home and actually do what people are accusing them of

Same here. Most people would at least be like “yeah. I guess it’s bad but it’s a million dollars”

I personally like to see all of the male comedians who went to Saudi Arabia tripping over their dicks to say “there was a lesbian there and she did a gay joke” only to have that comedian express regret for doing it. If I didn’t know any better I would think that are whitewashing.

These are all bands that should not be in to illustrate that not every band gets in

Learned this morning there’s a rockabilly Pokémon @murderxbryan.bsky.social

The answer is of course, yes, once they put these bands in everyone will stop complaining and love the rock and roll hall of fame

Now I cut my finger and bleeding all over the place

Stabbed a hole in my shorts on accident, wasn’t gonna post it but my daughter threatened to not only comment on this post but to text Chris and tell him about it

I know it’s there but it’s a whole different consistency and the spices are good

I didn’t get the wings because of the mayo

They called it aioli but we all know what that is

I got a super good deal on it because it’s new.

They called it aioli but that’s just mayo

“Sir, I will simply stand here and die if you don’t give me ranch”