Bernard

If you got a tattoo, what would you get , and where would you put it?

What language would you like to speak fluently?

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

Toast of the Day:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to min',
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne. - Robert Burns
#Toasts

I always get lost driving on New Year's Eve. I blame the Old Lane Signs. #PUNishMint

Toast of the Day:

A song for the old, while its knell is tolled,
And its parting moments fly!
But a song and a cheer for the glad New Year,
While we watch the old year die!
- George Cooper (from a collection of toasts on the subject of New Years). #Toasts

Did you know that if I had ordered an axe from overseas and had it shipped to my address, I would have a foreign axe sent? #PUNishMint

Toast of the Day:

Then fill the bowl - away with care,
Our joy shall always last-
Our hopes shall brighten days to come,
And memory gild the past.
- Tom Moore (from a collection of toasts on the subject of the Past, Present, & Future). #Toasts

A copy of “A Christmas Carol” just fell on my toe. It hurts like the Dickens! #PUNishMint

Did you know you can send letters and even emails to people in prison? You're just not allowed to attach a file. #PUNishMint

Toast of the Day:

May the Lord keep you in his hand and never close his fist too tight on you.
And may the face of every good news and the back of every bad news be toward us in the New Year. - Irish. (from a collection of toasts on the subject of the New Year). #Toasts

Toast of the Day:

Here's a health to you and yours who have done such things for us and ours; and when we and ours have it in our powers to do for you and yours what you and yours have done for us and ours, then we and ours will do for you and yours what you and yours have done for ours. #Toasts

Forklift operators hate my puns. They find them unpalletable. #PUNishMint

Someone took my deck of cards and glued all the cards together. I’m upset. I can’t deal with it. #PUNishMint

Toast of the Day:

The three H's: Health, Honour, and Happiness.
Health to all the world,
Honour to those who seek for it,
Happiness in our Homes.
- (from a collection of Alliterative toasts). #Toasts

Toast of the Day:

Here's to us all!
God bless us every one!
- Tiny Tim's toast, from Charles Dickens's 'A Christmas Carol.' #Toasts

The difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet is the Christmas alphabet has no L. #PUNishMint

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? ‘It's Christmas, Eve’! #PUNishMint

Toast of the Day:

Here's wishing you more happiness
Than all my words can tell,
Not just alone for Christmas
But for all the year as well.
- (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Christmas). #Toasts

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp, and even. #PUNishMint

Toast of the Day:

I have always thought of Christmas as a good time; a kind, forgiving, generous, pleasant time; a time when men and women seem by one consent to open their hearts freely; and so I say "God bless Christmas."
- Charles Dickens. #Toasts

Do not leave a fire burning in your fireplace this Christmas Eve, or else you might wake up to a
Crisp Kringle. #PUNishMint

Elves are always defending the shape of their ears. They make some good points. #PUNishMint

Toast of the Day:

Now thrice welcome Christmas
Which brings us good cheer,
Minced pies and plum porridge.
- (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Christmas). #Toasts

Toast of the Day:

Then let us be merry and taste the good cheer,
And remember old Christmas but comes once a year.
- From an old Christmas carol.(from a collection of toasts on the subject of Christmas). #Toasts

What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus. # PUNishMint

Toast of the Day:

I wish you a Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
A pocket full of money
And a cellar full of beer!
- (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Christmas). #Toasts

If a gingerbread man hurts his leg, does he try icing it? #PUNishMint

Toast of the Day:

Apple pie and Simon Beer,
Christmas comes but once a year.
- Old Southern saying. (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Christmas). #Toasts

My friend went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb.
He just can’t part with it. #PUNishMint