Mike Bates

Honestly, I don't think anybody can predict how the voters will react to that. Unless it's stacked with his teammates, I bet a lot of members of the committee are not keen on giving it to someone who violated the gambling ban.

Also, who really knows how the veteran committee rules will be revamped between now and whenever they appear on the ballot next. It's not like this process has ever been written on stone tablets.

Also, sure, Bonds and Clemens belong in the Hall on merit. But they are also awful people, so making them wait isn't a travesty. It's probably better for them they take the next round off and come back with a whole new slate of electors in, like, eight years.

Jeff Kent is nowhere near the worst selection for the Hall of Fame, so I'm afraid you aren't going to get me to care about this one, even if he is a dipshit.

I see you making fun of Sean Duffy not being able to decide if he wants you to dress up or wear workout clothes to the airport. You don't get it. You're supposed to show up in sweats, then change in the airport bathroom into your Sunday best. Bring a change of clothes in your carryon, you heathens!

Son, you've spouted a lava leak. We don't do that, but I know a guy I can have call you that takes care of these things.

Why? You can’t do nothing now! Go retire to your ranch and paint shitty pictures, buddy!

Also, you didn’t prosecute your SABR rivals and pardon yourself.

My God! That poor woman!

I’m just impressed by their stamina.

I absolutely agree. They were just too dumb to realize it. Which tracks.

You’re looking for “thinking it through” instead of “first thought, only thought.”

They’re this obnoxious and you’re looking for logic?

But do they ozoninate it for absolutely no reason?

I used to take first dates there. You can learn a lot about a woman by how they react to a “prostate warmer.”

Makes me nostalgic for The Museum of Questionable Medical Devices in Minneapolis.

He was probably a quiverful shithead too.

I’m not saying the mom wasn’t a baseball fan, just that I haven’t met a mother yet who would insist on fucking up their kids’ names like this. This reeks of being some asshole baseball dad’s insistence.

This must have been such a fucked up marriage (I assume she wised up and divorced the dad’s ass).

I feel heard and validated.

And that's really saying something.

Not actually a terrible pitcher! Not great, but nowhere near as bad as I thought at the time. He didn't strike anybody out, unfortunately, and the context was awful for run prevention, so he got screwed. I'm guessing he was also coached out of pitching to his strengths given how the Twins operated.

The 1996 Twins went into the season expecting to feature Kirby Puckett, Chuck Knoblauch, Paul Molitor, Marty Cordova, Rick Aguilera (as a starter) and absolutely no one else of any note at the time. I'm getting very similar vibes.

Fingers crossed.

Hooray for holding onto three guys who I love to watch play baseball. Boo for letting the rest of the roster sit fallow.

Congratulations on getting to now without hearing Christmas Shoes before this. It's a life altering experience. Can't believe the cashier was going to make that kid put the shoes back!

But I'm so loveable!

That said, sometimes I still feel like my insides are sloshing around.

Try adding, like, a Mio to it. I know it has a sugar substitute, which isn't good, but that's how I keep myself drinking as much fluid as I should as a not young person.

Yeah. I get that Ryan's a different class of pitcher, but I still hate the idea of sending someone I love watching to the Mets again.