Grandmas were on to smth (I inherited most of my great grandmother’s night gowns)

To whoever hit the turtle on the road in Glasgow KY (very easy and safe to avoid) in the amount of time it took me to slow down and turn around to move him: fuck you

Man some days you just want to build a cabin and just live off the land. And also the cabin has WiFi and a PS5.

Can’t wait t’git my hands on nem cheap eggs!

✨🌈 The more you know 🌈✨

I never asked for someone who is perfect. Only someone who tries.

First time spatchcocking a chicken! It was so good 😩

Bro I saw this piece of art and thought the subject was stunning, just as you are 🥺

Mac from its always sunny as the US government: Why are you downloading an even more Chinese app after I banned the last one. Dennis' as Americans: BECAUSE WE HATE YOU.

I don't want my fridge to have a camera or Wi-Fi. I don't want my dishwasher to be smart. I don't want my washing machine to text me.

In fact, I kinda miss knobs and dials and knowing big appliances would last 20 years and could still be repaired.

Here’s a New Year’s Resolution:

Be on the side that reads books — not the side that bans them.

For Maths fans, 2025 is a square.
45² = 45 x 45 = 2025
Also,
9² x 5² = 2025
40² + 20² + 5² = 2025
My favourite?
1³+2³+3³+4³+5³+6³+7³+8³+9³ = 2025
#Mathematics #teaching #education

When people exist in a civil war state of mind, they use scapegoats to deflect from their own unhappiness.

By fighting them, you give them what they want. A distraction.

If you cease fighting them, they'll begin fighting each other - as a distraction.

Anything to avoid looking at their own soul.

I need someone to explain to me why it’s always “if you can’t pay rent, buy fewer lattes and avocado toasts” and not “if you can’t pay your employees a living wage, buy fewer yachts and real estate”.

Explain it to me like I’m in kindergarten.

Unfortunately my stomach and I have never been friends

Dog man

a cartoon drawing of a poop with arms and legs is dancing in a field . ALT: a cartoon drawing of a poop with arms and legs is dancing in a field .

Sorry

In 1964-65 humans created Medicare, Medicaid, food stamps, and Head Start. If you want to 'make America great again,' maybe revisit the era when you actually acted like you cared.

I hope whoever made my McDouble gets head tn bc they fucking popped off w that shi

I think it really sucks that when Trump started calling all news media “fake news”, the media took that as an opportunity to get even faker rather than doing absolutely anything to restore trust in reporting.

....and another thing.

Sadly, this is the case for far too many people.

It's the time of the year when "Do They Know it's Christmas?" randomly pops up on the spotify holiday playlist and I'm shocked *once again* at how utterly tone deaf and condescending it is. I know I'm not breaking any new ground but MY GOD.

A publicly funded USPS gets your letter delivered. A privatized USPS gets your data delivered directly to an ad agency.

Don’t make me tap the sign. Strikes are supposed to be disruptive

If you see anyone talking about how the Amazon strike could disrupt the flow of packages:

old man: AWW WHAT AN ADORABLE NEW BABY. LET'S CUT THE TIP OF ITS PENIS OFF IT'LL BE OK CUZ BABIES CAN'T FEEL PAIN. *daughter approaches*: FATHER ONE OF MY EGGS MAY HAVE BEEN FERTILIZED AND I WANT TO GET RID OF IT old man:... HAVE YOU CONSIDERED HOW THE BABY WOULD FEEL, PSYCHO?!!

Vine was defeated and it is shadow grew Tiktok which now shall be consumed by the darkness. What new beast shall rise?!