Cat, probably

My wife, giggling, post spitting on me: "is it misogynist to spit on your wife?"

DONT DATE GIRLS SHE WILL STEAL YOUR PLUSHIES AND EAT YOUR CHOCOLATE

The despair is winning today lads

I feel like you can tell exactly How im doing based on what kind of musical opinions i have

like,, chumbawumba was hella underrated and timebomb fucking slaps

Printing knitting patterns at work to feel aluve

30m to close and I have finally completed my Civic Duty*

*pooping at work while employed by a government institution

LIATEN ONE OF US HAS TO BE THE STRONG ONE I KNOW WERE BOTH TRAUMATIZED LESBIANS BUT WE CANT BOTH BE CRYING TOO HARD FROM FEELING AT PEACW JUST FROM THE LOTR EXTENDED EDITION MENU ONE OF US HAS TO HIT PLAY

I keep forgetting I have this account lol

Currently, my main problem is that my wife is a White Girl*

*likes pumpkin spice

wife: "babe. put it away. no premarital ankle showing."
me: ???
me: "we're married???"
wife: "alright carry on"
me *goes back to rolling up my cargo pants*

Giving into temptation at the Salvation Army and buying the thigh high wh*re boots

ALSO MAKE OUT

a WIFE is a WOMAN who is IN YOUR House and TOO SILLY and GIGGLING TOO MUCH because SHE IS DOONSILLY and HOW OS YOU SO SILLGY and sometimes she KISS

I can't wait for someone to ask what the fuck I'm on bc I'm so fucking hype and energetic and then .e having to explain I'm not I foegot to refill my adderal

I NEED MY WIFE TO STOP BEING SO PRETTY I NEED TO MAKE MONEY FOR HER NOT JUST KISS HER

If I walk into the mall and *don't* walk out with a lil crane machine plushie for my wife, call an ambulance bc something's fuckin wrong with me

I think I need to stop reading Spare. Not to sound pompous, but some lines are almost a little too relatable

Not to be essentialist, but boys are boys and girls are girls. I made a joke about my wife making me a sandwich and she was so happy and immediately started asking what kind of sandwiches I would like and if I wanted them in my bento boxes. All the trans guys I've hung out with just eat raw noodles

Someone tell me to not buy a personal dosimeter

Hell yeah ✊🌹

I'm starting Schulman's Ties That Bind. I'm not even past the intro and I'm annotating everything jfc

my wife: F is for fraud and white collar crime~ U is for user terms of service~ N is for non disclosure agreement~ RIGHT HERE IN THE U-S-A

not to be having Complicated Feelings About A Parent on main, but stating that a woman could never do a good cover of a particular song bc "a woman could never do it justice" bc it's about loving a girl (and losing her)

thats homophobia, isn't it?

why would someone is wny put a german battle flag sticker on something

Today's Breakdown is Brought To You by AuDHD.

"If both your brothers got tested as children and got the support *they* needed, you *deserve* to pay out of pocket as an adult to learn about the complex, lifelong impact of academic and medical neglect!"

im thinking about making reading notes. for judith butler. for fun. it's been 6 years mcvicker what have you fucking done to me

someone needs to either put me out of my fucking misery or give me 100k for grad school. i'm reading judith butler again but FOR FUN this time

jfc there's gotta be a better way to interact with the world than Existing and getting kicked into emotional flashbacks bc you just fuckin Read something

absolutely fucking KILLING IT for this years summer reading

genuine question: do normal people have their parents full names in their phone contact info or am i really just a freak