El

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan -Jones, said when interviewed “mon père has missed un moment super cool. He should come to chez nous et nous can eat Le Roquefort ensemble.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, football watcher, said when interviewed “moi thinks les danois played un bon game. Moi likes beaucoup jouer avec des Lego. Moi is pleased that l'équipe écossaise did le winny winny.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, wood walker, said when interviewed “moi went dans les bois, mais moi didn’t go seule. Moi was avec mon père, Gonçalo et Juno. Nous didn’t see any beary bearies doing le pique-nique pique-nique. Moi thinks that is le news fakey fakey.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, bemused girl, said when interviewed “moi asked mon père if it were un autre boule de feu, he said ‘non’ mais about les shepherds et their chiens getting wetty wetty. Moi feels pour les chiens mais moi is très pleased it is not un boule de feu. They are scary scary.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, very proud daughter, said when interviewed “mon père et his amis did do le wangy wangy about le petition pour super longtemps, moi is très excitée that le parlement is doing that listening thingy thingy.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, Strictly Watcher, said when interviewed, “moi is très proper triste, super super triste, moi vraiment liked Vicky dès le début, elle seemed super authentique. Moi did always do le votey votey pour Vicky et Kai. Moi needs du fromage, une saucisse et un huggy huggy.”

NEWS:Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, snorting dog, said when interviewed “mon père is doing le jokey jokey. Moi parents are not dans Blackpool mais à Paris! Terminus Nord is super fameuse pour le tartare de boeuf à la normande. Moi cannot mange that parce que of les shallots mais it sounds proper tasty.”

Honestly Ann, she is quite clever. Not as clever as her mum. But you know.

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, big girl, said when interviewed “mes parents are à Paris, moi wishes them beaucoup de fun, moi has someone looking after moi mais moi is en charge. Moi has had Le Roquefort, des saucisses et is enjoying Strictly. Moi is not going to observe moi’s sleepy bobos temps.”

Yes Ann, Brexit was a very bad idea, Sophie has told me that those who promoted it are traitors, especially the frog mouth and the blond bloke who doesn’t brush his hair.

NEWS:Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, early riser, said when interviewed “moi promenaded early because mon père needed to get un train à Paris.Mon père is rendez-vousing avec ma mère pour un week-end romantique. Moi decided not to go although moi was bien sûr welcome. Moi will get des excellent fromage.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, fan of the BBC, said when interviewed “moi is très proper pleased that les avocats have said enfonce-le dans ton rectum.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, French food lover, said when interviewed “moi can’t drink de vin, et moi can only eat un few olives. Moi would order un croque monsieur avec beaucoup de frites. Moi thinks les salades are pour les lapins. Honnêtement qui likes la laitue? Moi hopes ma mère has fun.”

Indeed sulaalice, indeed.

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, Birthday Girl, said when interviewed “moi is très grateful for all les birthday wishes. Merci beaucoup. Moi is planning to mange Le Roquefort to celebrate. Moi is une grande fille maintenant, moi should be able to chase les chats et les lapins sans mon harnais.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, Autumn fan, said when interviewed “moi enjoys doing le sniffy sniffy in the leaves, moi has beaucoup de fun, mais moi has quatre paws so moi won’t do le slippy slippy, mon père has deux paws so has to be prudent not to do le slippy slippy. Moi will look after him.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, loving family member, said when interviewed “moi is très proper proud of mon oncle Simon doing le artsy artsy so well. He is différent from mon oncle Si, moi thinks they are both super cool.”

Sue, I loved Nancy too, she was strong, smart and independent (and didn’t wear a harness).

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, investigator, said when interviewed “those pesky chats are partout! Moi has to be une super detective like Mlle Nancy Drew to find them. It would be mieux if moi was sans mon harnais mais mon père said ‘non’. It is très frustrating, Mlle Drew didn’t have to wear un”.

Ain’t that the truth Ian.

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, happy dog, said when interviewed “moi used to get all mopey mopey on lundi as ma mère goes to do l’intellectualising. Now moi loves doing le hangy hangy avec Juno. Moi is grateful to mes parents. Moi still misses ma mère bien sûr, mais moi doesn’t do le mopey mopey.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, avid BBC News watcher, said when interviewed “moi doesn’t like all this flaying flaying. Moi accepts there was une erreur made by Panorama. Moi is pas sûr that l’homme d’orange can spell BBC. La BBC should stop looking at its bouton de belly et look at le monde.”

Thanks Kathy. I like giving people a good sniggle or snortle but a full on laugh is wonderful.

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, sensitive girl, said when interviewed “moi doesn’t like le cimetière dans la brume. Les fantômes! Les zombies! Moi can sense them. Mes parents are intelligent mais being là was une mauvaise idée. Nous should have done le bolty bolty très vit. Nous were très lucky.”

The one on now(ish)?

Kate, ep 2 or 3?

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, Strictly watcher, said when interviewed “moi is très proper chuffed that Vicky Pattison et Kai did such un super tango, moi likes her beaucoup, moi is not to so keen on autre personnes who look tangoed et who danse comme une tête de merde. Tu know qui moi means.”

Thank you so much Brenda. I really appreciate what you have written. I hope to stay as Sophie’s reporter for as long as she wants me to.

NEWS:Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, renowned intellectual (starter level), said when interviewed “moi helps ma mère beaucoup avec les sciences économiques. Moi is très excellent at doing le counting. Moi aussi understands supply et demande. Moi demandes et mes parents supply. Ma mère is très impressed.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, sceptical girl, said when interviewed “moi has toujours thought you do le throwy throwy de la balle you do le fetchy fetchy de la balle, mais Juno has said it can be beaucoup de fun. Moi is not sûr. Moi might give it un try un jour. It does have une odeur agréable.”