Paul McIntyre (Author)

Two holidaymakers sit on a beach beside a trailer of books. One asks the other why she couldn't have brought a kindle, Iike everyone else.

My kind of beach...
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Just created a new character - a child protection social worker.
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A publisher looks at a mountain of manuscripts.

Dead of Night is now with a befuddled publisher for consideration. Wish me luck.
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A bar sign stating "dogs only allowed inside when ordering beer"

Poor grammar makes for alcoholic dogs (apparently)...
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A sign on a public toilet saying toilet closed for cleaning please use the disabled.

Brevity in writing is good. But if you overdo it...
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A woman points at a sign saying sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

We need to invent punctuation to denote sarcastic character dialogue. But what to call it? A "YEAH, RIGHT"? A "NOT"?
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A road sign pointing to lost in one direction and very lost in the other direction

Where a plot hole can lead you...
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A pitfall of making your characters bend to fit the plot...
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Don't make the reader work too hard to spot your subtext
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Beautiful, aren't they?

Not used to undercover operators.

Exactly!

A cat sitting on the sofa between two dogs. The cat is wearing a dog costume.

Give your central character layers...
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You're not the only one.

A picture of a black and white cat stretched across a computer keyboard

"Get it all down in black and white," they said. Well, something black and white has beaten me to it...
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Shoot your genre between the eyes or else...
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Bart Simpson in front of a chalkboard writing "write what you know unless you know nothing in which case..."

Write what you know. Unless you know nothing. In which case, a career in politics beckons...
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Pedantic writers: make money from parking illegally...
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A traffic sign saying haha road closed.

Pump this level of schadenfreude into one of your characters if you can...
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I suppose being cannibalistic is more civilised if done at a table. Terribly rude to eat a human on one's feet.

Funnily enough, I'm having a friend for dinner tonight.

A sign on a restaurant table saying tables are for eating customers only.

Hope you're hungry to write and read today. Just not this hungry...
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A road sign saying do as I tell you for I am a sign.

Usually "Show Don't Tell" is best. Not in this case...
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A photo of a dog using a manual sausage machine.

Good luck with your writing today. And remember, your reader doesn't need to know how those sausages are made.
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A black and white photo of an outsized typewriter with women sitting and standing on it.

Outsourcing your typing? Pure lazy.
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A sign saying that if ideas dry up, keep calm and carry on writing.

In case of a writing emergency, break glass...
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Drum roll required.

A cat sitting on a printing machine.

My laptop says Printer Not Recognized. Well, somebody recognizes it...
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Sounds like my kind of guy!

A road sign saying "thank you for driving carefully" and beyond that a crashed car turned on its side.

Hope you turn your readers' expectations sideways today...
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