tvjames

Are you supposed to leave a broom behind when you sell a house?

Every house we've purchased has come with at least one broom. And we've never left any behind when we sold.

We now own so many brooms.

@thedailyshow.com have you considered inviting Foreign Correspondent Kimmy Jimmel on your show?

Sorry, @duolingoverde.bsky.social, but if the prompt is "I like _____. I go to the gym often." then 零食 is absolutely the correct and logical answer.

BWMs are fast, Lamborghinis are faster but Elon make Teslas the fascist.

Ok, this is dumb... my retired mother-in-law needs dental surgery. But if she saves up enough money for per portion of the cost, then she has too much money in the bank and loses her government-sponsored dental insurance.

What if Darryl from the warehouse was just Doug Judy in hiding?

Otherwise, I want a show starring Craig Robinson where you think it's a The Office spin-off but over time realize it's a Brooklyn 99 prequel. An evolution story unlike any we've seen since Walter White.

I'm pretty sure he can tell just by looking at them.

Is that where the phrase "Expensive as H" comes from?

Vancouver, Washington maybe

I was going to offer to do this for $5k per film. I'm also offering up my backyard if anyone wants to pretend it's Moscow or Milan or Mars or whatever.

I was looking at the diaper box. It says "100% leak proof" but above that in tiny letters it says "up to"

Isn't that pretty much any diaper?

“People like you and me, darling, we don’t get to ride off into the sunset. But we get to stay around and watch the stars come out. And that’s not nothing, I suppose.”

I just learned there's an Audiobook Transcript Repository just two blocks from my house and they let you borrow the transcripts for free.

Remember, when you buy from eBay, you get the same products sold in the large retail stores - but you're supporting a local small business owner.

Wow, you know it's serious when Babylon Bee is back to telling jokes.

Hey - I'm going to be a few minutes to our meeting. Pandora just started playing "Kyrie Eleison."

If you're the type who only needs to hear a song title or a read a few lyrics to have it stuck in their head for days, know that I share your pain.

Everybody come and play,
Throw every last care away!
Let's go to the mall... Today!

Can we tell him that if he wants to be Pope he needs to resign the Presidency? Remind him how he's never been pope and whisper in his ear that he's not good enough.

Look at the person to your left.
Now look at the person to your right.
Now look at the person behind you.
Now look at the person in front of you.
If you're at an airport, one of you doesn't have a RealID.
If it's on or after May 7, one of you is going to have a pretty bad day.

He was a DUI hire.

There's a store near us staffed by a single robot. "Never takes a break, never needs a vacation!" They claim.

This Starbucks is down one espresso machine and it's absolute chaos.

I love Burbank. It's 10:30 and I want to go walk a few miles. Do I need my hoodie? Nope, it's 65 degrees out.

Gemini (for as much as that's worth) suggests that generally the Tokyo Stock Exchange isn't as fixated on quarterly results as our exchanges here. (Though admits it's moving in that direction slowly). But, I do take your point. Maybe evolving platforms would help there.

Trump's Tariffs Are Really, Really Bad You can always count on Princess Awesome for some real talk, right? Yesterday, President Trump announced a massive increase in tariffs on all countries across the world.This has massive implications f...

There were tariffs before. This company was paying 7% previously. princess-awesome.com/blogs/news/t...

Increased tariffs haven't hit yet, but tariffs exist. Perhaps it would be better if it also included the percentage.

Fabletics is posting a “Tariff Surcharge” on their receipts. I hope other companies follow suit.

Well-written.

What tourists are coming here?

Why wait? With all the news about tariffs, you can just raise your prices now.

Or just make products for the other 96% of the planet instead.