Bilbo Slackins

Gonna start saying “now it might’ve been AI” before describing even the most normal videos to anyone because at this point…

You silly Americans and your oligarchy!!

Gonna start tweeting like I’m not American

Do you think Lady Gaga has ever cleaned an oven? No shade, I personally think she’d make cleaning an oven look chic.

Just a reminder that local elections matter

“Shrimps are sea bugs”
Good, I love bugs.

My partner just asked why I don’t keep an ashtray in my office (for the bong) and it’s like so obvious that’s an item for a boy room

But to be fair, Vanilla Coke is Coke for girls just like Diet Coke is Coke for girls but also Coke Classic is Coke Original for girls. You feel me?

Orange cream coke is just Vanilla Coke for girls

Starting my period 2 days early on 2/22 cause I’m a divine ass bitch 🩸✨

Watching White Lotus makes me sweaty

I’ve been through things gastrointestinally that you couldn’t even come up with in your nightmares

Y’all really don’t fw me do you

In the LA fires and the NC floods, 'CPR for mental health' treats unseen wounds From Altadena to Asheville, people devastated by recent disasters encountered helpers trained in Psychological First Aid. Like CPR, anybody can learn it.

From Altadena to Asheville, people devastated by recent disasters encountered helpers trained in Psychological First Aid. Like CPR, anybody can learn it.

They don’t call it dookie lax for no reason I’ll tell you that

Ducolax review on the timeline:

Took one pill before bed & had a nice calm bowel movement when I woke up. Took another one with breakfast and am having a fantastically pleasant bowel movement post lunch.

10/10 recommend for my constipated constituents.

i wish all ICE agents a very nuremberg

One side of the US is on fire and the other is freezing. I think 2025 is going to be a great year.

I really hope they legalize weed federally and make it accessible in every state within the next decade because I don’t wanna be an old head hitting up 20 year old dealers for a half ☹️

Hit my 12/12 periods just in time to come off my period today. Talk about a new years glow up 😩❤️‍🔥

I think wearing a mask during Covid (and continuing the practice post pandemic) is truly just like the shopping cart test. It’s just a test of accountability. People are faced with the option of
A. Wear mask and help out fellow humans to not get sick
B. Claim your rights are being infringed upon

Anyone else approaching 30 and feeling like they’re still “coming of age” at times? Cause boy oh boy I just wanna know when it ends

Going back to school is healing parts of my inner child that thought we’d wear pant/skirt suits, have auburn hair and unmatchable confidence

Who the fuck let me go this long without watching New Girl??? Why was I not strapped to a chair and forced to watch this against my will?? I would’ve loved this

I just had like 5 choc coated ice creams.

I have pretty intense stomach pains so I’m pretty sure the quinoa bullshit I had for lunch was off.

I don’t know why I’m still so pissed off that the answers to “what, where, and when” are “that, there, and then.”

Some of the fine works of Bubby Wade (I wish he’d come to Bluesky)