Errai

(Heimdall at 2am three beers in) fuck It let's do ragnarok. where's my horn

(Baby replying to a thread on a modded cribs forum) Wow, that's one hell of a build. Bedtime specs?

If you close your eyes and think about Brazil for long enough you are warped there

Night walk

Please, Scam Likely is my father's name. Call me Prolly

(accidentally misgendering a friend in my head) Sorry, I meant him

Friend: it's ok

Me: wait, how'd you know

(chuckling) Where do you think we are right now?

Me: in my mind? But that means that..

Friend: yes, this is a dream

Sexy Mario: and in dreams, everything is possible

sony a7rv with the 24-70mm gmii

Turn your friends and even unsuspecting strangers into custom Amiibos with this brand new weapon

Chinatown in the snow

Bandit sprinting towards me: prepare to meet my blade!

Me: (haven't talked to a human being in four days) Hello Jello

(trying to get a discount) btw I created you to be the perfect warrior but you were one of my failed experiments and I regretted it ever since

Taco Bell cashier: (suppressed memories of his training starting to resurface) I forgive you father...

Walk during today's snowfall, and a snowman my bf and I built

Coworker: (secretly a giant five year old baby) Can someone explain this like I'm five

There's enough drama as is

(but thank you, really 🤍)

(kissing your forehead goodnight) And stay down

Commission drawn by @urct.bsky.social 🤍

Thank you! Lots of orange hues where I was today

Walk this afternoon

Messing up a peekaboo and disappearing for real

Clergybros bragging about how many hail marys they can recite in one set

The Lonely Magician: for my next trick I'll need 500 volunteers

Around the house

Drinking a fourth beer in videogames should replace the wobbly screen effect with blood splatters

The Insecure Dentist: Turn your head a little towards me please (quietly) just say that you hate me

(texting you a picture of Frieza using his Death Psycho Bomb attack on Krillin) This could be us but you playin

(scrolling through porn results) Don't care. Inefficient. Won't tip the scales of fate in my favor

Getting a blooper reel when you die but every outtake is you making the correct life decision instead

Spine lights

If you zoom out on google maps and scroll past the ocean there's a bunch more stuff waiting to be discovered

(showing the guy working at the deli counter that I set him as my emergency contact) I would trust you with my life

Deli guy: I will protect it as my own