Clark Brooks

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We’re untethered to those: tampanewsforce.com

Oh, I would absolutely approach the Commodore! I just don’t know what their fee structures and expenses are.

A week from tonight!

I know there’s a bunch of shows on their books but not aware of any deals.

Considering military service is not mandatory, how does barring people who want to serve from doing so make our nation safer?
I’m an Army vet and I’m ashamed of this decision.

I feel the same way about Valentine’s Day as I did about the inauguration: “I guess I have to hear about this sh*t all day.”

Everything is absurd, yet none of it’s funny.

Did I just happen to casually mention to the attractive woman at the smoothie shop where I’m killing time that I’m a professional comedian and doing a show next door tonight? I don’t know. I might have. Maybe. What? WHAT??

“Did you wake up this morning and choose violence?”
Not exactly…

Tonight!!

www.clearwatercomedyclub.com/event-detail...

At Cafe Hey this morning

ME: I’d like a Cafe Gulf of Americano, please.
S. Cheong Choi: Do you want that black or…?
ME: No, I want it red, white and blue!
S. Cheong Choi: …

Oh, what a jolly time to be alive!

Personal opinion: I have no problem with any of these nominees getting in.

What’s nice is getting positive feedback from a booker BEFORE a gig.

Beautiful!

Ha ha ha ha!

Remember when renaming French Fries as “Freedom Fries” was the dumbest thing we thought we’d ever see?

Panera Bread has an automated kiosk for ordering and they send you a text when it’s time to come pick up your food. At no point did I come close to interacting with a human being. Nice of the kiosk to give me the option of leaving a 20% tip though, I guess.

Don’t give up hope. There are more of “us” than there are of “them”.
(5/5)

Except it illustrates that us regular, everyday people, who have differences and nothing to gain from seeing each other struggle, are still out here and not hesitating to help each other.
(4/5)

Wow. What an enthralling, big, fat nothingburger of a story, right?
Yep.
(3/5)

I speak no Spanish and went up to a lady who spoke no English and through pointing and hand gestures, I was able to ask her for a cup of detergent. She gladly gave it to me and politely refused my offer of a dollar, which is what it would have cost me at the vending machine.
(2/5)

I hope this makes you feel a little better…

I just got home from my local West Tampa laundromat, where I had loaded my clothes into a machine, only to find out the vending machine had no soap. Uh oh.
(1/5)

If the NFL was rigged, they would have come up with a Super Bowl matchup that wasn’t so unappealing to so many people.

Also, neither New York team would be as bad as they both are.

Tickets on sale now! www.clearwatercomedyclub.com/event-detail...

If you’ve never pulled over to stop and write down a joke you just thought of, I’m going to assume you’re not committed to being a comedian.

I’m not sure they have big enough, or enough at all, tables in there for this task…

Somewhere along the way, “keep your nose to the grindstone” turned into “F those people”.

“But… MY emails?!?”

I believe that the reason things are the way they are is because people from my generation (the tail end of the boomers) glorified a perverted sense of ambition and not being satisfied with “enough”. Gluttonous excess and greed weren’t sins to avoid, they were character traits to emulate.