Squirt Reynolds

Someone called this mass exodus from Twitter ‘the fall of the Broman Empire’ and I died laughing. 💀

i think what the world needs now is a modern remake of the sound of music but starting sabrina carpenter as maria and all pop stars as the von trapp family cuz like we really need a way to show people what nazis actually look like nowadays and i think this could be it.

jake? paul? mike? tyson? fight!? what are these four dudes fighting over who gets to join the frat first? who's dad has the most money? who's bronco is the newest? who's style is the most uninspired? who can put in the least effort to fall upwards? who can get alcohol poisoning the fastest?

Boris Karloff was 79 and sick with emphysema when he did the narration for the Grinch. He died shortly after earning a children’s recording Grammy, which was his only major award.

punk as *fuck (sent from my subaru waiting for my teenage daughter to pick her lululemon outfit so we can go celebrate a park's one year anniversary)

i can't believe that that arron paul dude from breaking bad beat up the tyson chicken guy last night like not on my 2024 bingo card! #aaronpaul #tysonchicken #jakepaul #miketyson #bingocard2024 @pattonoswalt.bsky.social

how it will feel to wake up for the next four years #cat #catbutt #buttinface

does the f in rfk stand for frankfurter because he looks like he's made of hot dogs #rfk #rfkjr

Narrator: In the end, the libs owned Alex Jones.

1. clock in
2. take shit
3. get absorbed into toilet
4. live life hidden away in the sewer
5. befriend ninja turtles & chuds?

i've just accepted that i'm the guy in the bonnet on the morning they looks crazy and unprepared but i'm totally not (one of those things?) #bonnet #morningroutine

why is that first morning work shit always the best one of the day? #shit #work #bestoftheday

i read a thing yesterday where somebody called that person the velveeta voldemort and that really got a chuckle out of me even though i was never into harry potter #velveeta #orangeman #fascism #funny

This time around, the Kennedys are assassinating us.

ngl sabrina carpenter totally lols like somebody who would

this is so makes all my decisions

i joined because i thought it was called bluesguy and it was for guys who liked blues