ReadingTallMe

If someone has travelled thousands of miles, paying everything they own to an exploitative people smuggling gang, risking their life in a deadly channel crossing, I do not want to be the person who takes their last valuables – a mother’s necklace? A gift? – from them. And nor should the rest of us.

100% With a little planning we can definitely make it happen

just saw a single uno card on the sidewalk. wow. why would someone just throw away a winning hand

Yes, but that doesn't mean you can't lean on people or have a cheerleader or two.

That looks as dry as Melania's gusset

No but it is quite funny. I imagine 🍊 🤡 must be fuming.

I haven't been here in a while. Is it more entertaining than it used to be? Are we all enjoying the Clinton-Trump story?

Nonsense and you know it!

A little reminder that in the UK the word trump is a verb and it means to fart.

This is the only flag I’m flying today. For Janey. #Trumpisacunt Let’s make it trend.

i present to you, “tiny dog in the snow”, starting augustus ephraim canine, esquire

This came up in my FB memories. Seemed apt to share again today...

YouTube video by Amelia Dimoldenberg ELMO | CHICKEN SHOP DATE

We all need a bit of extra Elmo today. youtu.be/FeU1n4qS49c?...

What would happen if His Majesty’s Government stopped paying rent to His Majesty? Would His Majesty take His Majesty’s Government to court over the debt?

Please help & RT. Has anyone seen this very confused lady wandering around Washington at all? She answers to the name 'Liz' & her carers are very, very worried about her. She was last seen shouting at cars. Please don't mention crashing the economy or lettuces as this tends to upset her. Thank you 👍

Feathers McGraw (a penguin with a rubber glove for a hat, or a chicken depending on who you ask) stands outside the entrance of The Museum of English Rural Life.

we're thrilled to share that we've started the year with a new addition to our team! he's extremely smart, capable, charming, persuasive, and boasts a wealth of museum experience

Concerned I am going to become a local councillor when I'm older. I am that person who photos and reports graffiti and potholes. Also I have obtained a new tree and brand new children's play park for my road. Excitement in your mid-30s is different to mid-20s.

Is it a limo?

One Christmas I had tons of empty boxes to get rid of so I put a £5 voucher I had bought my office secret Santa - who I hated - in an envelope in a box within a box within a box. 15 boxes in total. Apparently he was fucking livid by the time he'd unwrapped it all.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

They are so pointless.

Traitors producer: You’ve definitely sorted out a challenge to get everyone arguing.

Traitors storyliner: Arguing? But your email said you wanted everyone rowing.

#traitors #thetraitors #traitorsuk

Read to the end👇. So much of what is wrong in our justice system summed up in one harrowing thread. Many thanks to those like @crimegirl.co.uk who continue to bring these daily injustices to light.

Bracknell IS a wormhole

As a surprise for the Mrs I bought a Clone a Willy kit. Could not keep myself hard in the cold moulding agent and it looked liked a vibrating turd by the time it was finished. She got books for Christmas instead.

Wife was determined to have an unusual name for our newborn, I suggested Ulla and she loved it, so that's her name. Not because of any Scandinavian links, but because I bloody love the War of the Worlds LP and I can't wait to sing it out like a Martian every time I call for her.

A cartoon by Stephen Collins. Script as follows: 1 THE SCENE: is BBC Television centre or wherever that is these days. HARRY STYLES is getting out of a limo to enter a studio. An autograph-hunting FAN accosts him. Also, a DATE STAMP appears ‘on screen’, like it used to do in the X-files, reading: OCTOBER, 2024: Maidstone Studios, England FAN 1: That’s Harry Styles! FAN 2 [Approaching Harry]: Can I have a selfie, Harry? 2 FAN: What are you doing at Maidstone Studios on this finbe day in mid October, Harry? 3 HARRY STYLES: Why, I’ve come here in mid-October to record ‘Jools Holland’s New Year Hoote-‘ 4 *FSHW* [Harry Styles is suddenly vaporised by a LASER BEAM] 5 [We see the culprit; a hi tech flying DRONE has zapped Mr Styles to death. The drone has a camera eye on the front of it] 6 [Cut to: JOOLS HOLLAND in his Hootenanny lair, watching a screen which has just alerted him to the elimination of Styles] [Legend on screen]: ARTIST ELIMINATED HOLLAND: Goddamn it 7 HOLLAND: Why can’t they keep their mouths SHUT? 8 HOLLAND: Tim Davie! TIM DAVIE [Director General of the BBC]: Y-yes Jools? HOLLAND: Who’ve we got left for this year? 10 TIM DAVIE: The Boomtown Rats, one of Sister Sledge and Marc Almond HOLLAND: Almond *again*? 11 TIM DAVIE: We’re running out of artists to call, sir… M-must we keep killing… so many…? HOLLAND: You know the rules, Davie. The secret of the Hootenanny must be protected at all costs. All who divulge it… 12 HOLLAND [close up on his evil face, eye twitching]: Must be eliminated

An explanation, for tonight

Awwww and to you two, too 😘😘😘

my kid's tiktok kept prompting her to upload a selfie so they could turn it into an avatar so she sent in a photo of luigi and they gave her this